Suzer's Expat Adventures

Integration, Part 2

2012-01-11T21:06:00.001+10:30

The other day it was suggested to me that I shouldn’t allow locals to join the Expats in Adelaide group. I hesitate to even post this, to be honest, as I don’t want to risk anyone not joining on this basis. It was a one off and to me, bizarre complaint, which ended in my apologising to the person that the group was too inclusive for her, at which point she removed her membership and advised me she’d be letting people know how awful I am.

Then this morning, I got an email from an expat web site that stated that it was too restrictive to call themselves an expat site any longer, citing that these days, there was a need to be more inclusive, and that expats need to integrate into the wider culture, hence they would now be focusing on the greater community as an audience.

Aussies who return home from overseas, and even those who move states within Australia often join up to the expat group. They’ve been away and come home to find that they’ve changed and they need a little something more than their high school friends, they miss the international atmosphere, or they come to Adelaide from Melbourne or Sydney and just want to meet more people, Aussie or not. We even have some Adelaidians who’ve always been here but are keen to try something new. One of the most difficult things for expats here can be meeting locals, so I encourage them, and am pleased when I see an Australian join up. The more the merrier I say!

In Support of Integration - A Letter to the Editor

2012-01-10T21:25:00.000+10:30

Who knows if they'll publish it, but here's my letter to the editor at The Australian:

While reading the article in The Australian, Hygiene lessons will help migrants integrate, I was reminded of my orientation day at university in England, where we were given a list of English customs we would not be familiar with as newcomers. This included topics such as queuing, health care and tenants rights, amongst other things we had no knowledge of. Had I not been given these helpful bits of information, it's very possible I might have done exactly what I was used to doing in Chicago - standing around then going straight to the front door of the bus when it arrived, easily offending those lined up patiently. Knowing the right thing to do in a new place is not common sense, and even coming from an English speaking nation originally doesn't prepare one for the many cultural differences in everyday life.

Teresa Gambaro raised an important issue in relation to immigration; that of integration and the fact that the Government is failing to assist new migrants on how to fit into Australian culture. Taken out of context, one might easily judge Ms Gambaro. I'm dissappointed to see migrant advocacy groups take immediate offense, rather than seeing that Ms Gambaro might actually be an advocate herself for new migrants. Diversity training in Australian workplaces is not only a good idea, but a necessity, for both current and new Australians, so that we can learn about each other.

Look at the bigger picture instead of grabbing the most negative aspect. Perhaps Ms Gambaro should not have included a potentially offensive topic such as body odour, but her overall message of doing more to assist new migrants to integrate into Australian culture is something we should all pay attention to. Long term, what will the future Australia look like if we stick to ‘our own’ and don’t work harder on integrating cultures. We have an opportunity right now that will pass us by.

And to read what Teresa Gambaro's message actually was (back in September), look here.

My Aunt Lydia Shelf

2011-12-08T18:11:00.001+10:30

I got a fantastic package in the mail yesterday, from my Mom and Aunts Liz (& Lydia). I really should have taken a photo upon opening it up - everything was secured in bubble wrap, and with absolute care and attention to detail, which was no great surprise, as that care and attention are all I saw when I went home on my last visit. For the past 15 years, since the death of my Aunt Rose, my Aunt Lydia has lived near us, and I think her last few years were some of the happiest in her life, due in part to her own wonderful attitude towards life, and the presence of her two sisters being nearby. Aunt Lydia could teach us all a thing or two, about being not only open but enthusiastic to new situations and people, always keen to make a new friend, and content with living in the moment. I was lucky to inherit all of her White Sox memorabilia, and found a nice spot to display it proudly.

Sunny with a Chance of Storms

2011-12-06T18:35:00.004+10:30

Tomorrow is my Aussie work team Christmas day out. The weather is forecast to be sunny and 34 (or 92 for you Camericans). We'll be sailing, or catamaraning, to be more exact, then having a nice lunch, followed by some cricket or perhaps another drink or two, for those of us who can't drag ourselves from the pub to the dry zone. Add to this the fact that after over 4 years in the Southern hemisphere, I finally feel settled in and am looking forward to the holiday season in the heat, and I should be totally stoked. My bag is packed with sun tan lotion, a hat, a scarf, and a mango slicer, but I've lost my enthusiasm. A little after 9am perhaps, a sound such as that you might hear coming from a local mosque started to grow louder. Slowly, my co-workers gathered at the window. (Keep in mind that I've seen Australians march in the streets every few months these past couple of years that I've had the privilege to work in my current job.) The men went first, and then the women all joined hands and gathered onto the road, slowly beginning their own chant, and helping to hold up hand made banners, giving name to Imam Hussein. Apparently, he was a martyr killed in 680AD and this walk was part of the traditional Ashura commemorations, a Muslim holiday season of sorts. Unfortunately some of my co-workers decided it was an appropriate time to vent their personal opinions. The Muslims must be protesting, it was assumed, and perhaps because they had not yet turned Australia into a Muslim state. Traditional festivities in local schools are no longer going ahead, and it's the fault of the foreigners. Dear god, this is Adelaide, and we certainly wouldn't want any changes! If you've seen the world headlines today, you'll know that not all marches went on peacefully today, with only background noise. One wonders if any of those out on King William Street today might have been out in the crowd of which almost 30 people were killed today, had they not been given refuge here in South Australia. Don't get me wrong; I love coming into work and seeing a Christmas tree and reindeer on display, but I'm not always sure it's worth the trade off. I think we foreigners need a catch phrase. We're queer, We're here! is already taken but the simple fact is, we're here. We're here to stay. We're here and we all need to be accepted. We're here and we need to be able to bring our traditions with us, and celebrate who we are. If we aren't accepted, we can't integrate, and if we can't integrate, what does the future of Australia look like. Pretty bleak, I think...

Virgin, You've Failed Me

2011-11-17T17:58:00.002+10:30

My consideration turned to intention, but the experience didn't come near to meeting my expectation. Not considering the fact that online check-in and airport kiosk didn't work on my reservation, or that the pilot never announced that we would be 20 minutes late to our destination on the outbound flight, or that we were welcomed onboard 30 minutes before landing back in Adelaide on the return flight, Virgin did not do it for me. The reason why would be the flight attendant's reaction upon hearing my accent when I ordered a ginger beer. The conversation went like this:
FA: "Are you on your honeymoon!?"
Me: "No."
FA: "Oh, ummm....well it's just that...your rings are so sparkly."
Me: "Ok."
FA: "So how long are you travelling in Australia for?"
Me: (becoming annoyed) "The weekend."
FA: "Oh, but how long in total are you travelling around?"
Me: "I'm going to Perth for the weekend."
FA: "Yes, but where are you from?"
Me: "Adelaide" (thinking - you dumb %#$@ I live here)

End of conversation. Expats - do you hate this the way I do?

Why Don't you Tell me What you Really Think?

2011-08-03T14:30:00.003+09:30

Remember the last time you broke up with someone and suddenly, your friends started telling you what they really thought about that person? He/she wasn't good enough for you, was boring, loud & obnoxious, or just plain lazy and irresponsible. (Not that I've ever dated anyone like that.) I sold my car last month. Remember this car? This is the car I used to make excuses for, was embarrassed to drive, and secretly wondered how long was going to be around. My acquaintences used to comment that its flaws weren't that bad and that it was perfectly reliable for my needs. And then I sold it. Suddenly, people wanted to know how far I thought the new owners would get on their road trip to Darwin. Comments started coming along the lines of "This new car is soooo much better. We were worried about you in that car. That car was bad!" I wonder what they all think of my husband...and my house!

Are you a Trailing Spouse?

2011-06-28T19:03:00.000+09:30

The trailing spouse is often defined as one who makes the move abroad to follow a partner on a work assignment and due to visa restrictions, is prevented from seeking employment for themselves. These spouses are often seen as either living a luxurious, carefree lifestyle, or being bored and neglected. It's a narrow definition and one that I think should be broadened. Many of us end up expats out of circumstance rather than choice. While I wanted to live abroad, Australia wasn't on my radar. Now that I've settled here I like it, but I definitely followed my husband, and I have often felt that the term trailing spouse applies to me. Did you ever consider yourself a trailing spouse, and if so, why?

Singapore

2011-06-20T12:15:00.013+09:30

It's true - the more I use Facebook, the less I blog. It's as though short, brainless utterances are replacing proper writing. On that note, let me tell you about Singapore. One of the best things about living in Australia is work life balance, and over Easter, we had a 5 day weekend, so we added a couple of days and off we went, on the shortest international flight we'd been on in over 5 years. This was our first international trip in just as long (that didn't involve seeing family or moving) and was well deserved. I was looking forward to going to a new place that had a diversity of cultures and a reputation for amazingly varied cuisine. We did eat well, see a lot of new and old architecture, and experience a variety of culture, but there was something I didn't love about Singapore. I can't quite put my finger on it, but the place almost had a Disney like feel. It was just too touristy for me, or perhaps we just had too much time there, but it felt like there were too many expensive little alcoves built simply to relieve visitors of their cash. That being said, I'd recommend Singapore for a stopover, or a 3 day stop on a visit to Asia, and perhaps, while I'm slogging through Thailand on one of our next trips, Singapore will look heavenly.

Coffee Anyone?

2011-04-10T18:11:00.005+09:30

One of the differences between working in the US and Australia is that, working as an Executive Assistant, I'm expected to do menial tasks for those above me, such as getting the coffee...and occasionally even being sent to pick up lunch. I can remember only once being asked to go get lunch for a boss in the US as he was running late for a meeting, and he apologised profusely for asking. Nowadays, I'm very often asked to come into a room, take drink orders, then go make the teas and coffees. I keep my mouth shut because I like my workplace, and I know the culture is different here, but I still find it a bit off. I don't think secretaries in the US have gotten coffee since the '80s, or perhaps it began in the '70s with Iris Rivera's protest. If you're an admin, do you make the coffees, and where do you live?

The Rest of my Life -or- Now What?!

2011-02-23T18:23:00.001+10:30

2002
Paris, France (March)
England & Ireland (Aug/Sept)

2003
Ireland (March)
Montreal (August)
Ireland (Aug/Sept)
Northern Ireland (November)

2004
Northern Ireland (June - Sept)

2005
Scotland (March)
Wales & England (May)
Ireland (December)

2006
Amsterdam (February)
Paris (April)
Prague (April)
Northern Ireland (July)

The above is off of the last page of a blank book I've used for recipes for over 10 years. I have listed trips, from 1998 to 2007, at which point I moved 'Down Under'. When I pulled it out the other day, I realised I hadn't added anything since then, and then I realised aside from travelling around Australia and going home to the US a couple of times, I haven't really been anywhere in about 3 years. When I say I haven't been anywhere, I mean I haven't been outside of the country, which for me is a big deal since, as you can see, I used to do a lot of trips overseas. In addition to that, I'd lived in 5 different countries since 2004, so being in the same country for the past 3 years has felt rather stiffling. I decided to do a bit of a google on settling down after travelling. While I don't remember exactly what words I used, I came up with blogs such as the Grounded Traveler, the Rest of my Life, and one where I found this quote: "After so many years in perpetual motion, it's difficult to accept settling down and staying put." Ain't that the truth, I thought! After years of thinking about where I wanted to end up, putting some plans into action, and seeing some outcomes, I'm grounded. I'm married, I own a house, and I live very far from anywhere I can get to within a reasonable amount of time and in a cost efficient manner. Add to that, there are only 3 countries Adelaide Airport has flights to directly, and there goes my habit of doing a quick trip abroad on the weekend. So, the question is, now what? How do I avoid being a boring married homeowner? How do I keep life exciting? And how do I continue to do often what I love best - travel, particularly while I'm still paying off my grad school fees and renovating a house? I haven't quite figured it out yet, so I'll have to check back in later. This, right here...this blogging, is one of those things I do that makes life a bit more interesting. I may do it less frequently, and my voice may have changed over the years I've been doing it, but it somehow helps me to touch base with that part of myself that is always forward looking, thinking about what may be still to come.

Turning Wine into Water

2011-02-04T13:36:00.001+10:30

Today marks one year and one day at my current job (well, when I began this post a few weeks ago anyway). Last year, at my first staff meeting, I was called upon as a newbie and asked a few introductory questions. I'm not sure my new boss liked either of my answers. In addition to coming up with the Big Rocking Horse as my favourite South Australian tourist destination, I answered that I never make New Year's resolutions. It's true. I find it pointless to make a resolution simply because it's expected based upon the time of year, particularly since most of those resolutions deal with the same old tired things people typically aspire to but never achieve. I'm making an exception to my rule this year, however. Two things spurred me to action. One was seeing a magazine advertisement for FebFast, which is the idea to give up alcohol for the shortest month of the year. Similar to Movember, participants usually donate to register, and collect donations from supporters, but I'm too cheap for that, so I'll simply cheer myself on. I'm going to replace all that alcohol with water and see if it makes any difference to my newly acquired allergies and the frequent dehydration I feel living in South Australia. Would love if it made a difference to my waistline as well! The second thing that made me realise I needed to make some changes was finding out that a new friend was moving away. The truth is, Expats move more often than others, and since I hang out mostly with expats, some of the friends I make are not going to stick around. I'd grown a bit lazy and complacent, not getting around to planning a monthly Expats in Adelaide meet up, but realise it's a good idea, no matter how many friends you have, to keep meeting new people. So far, I've gone 4 days without any booze, and the 2nd yearly expat meet up is this week. Perhaps I'll call these my Australia Day resolutions since I'm a month late!

I Have Arrived

2010-12-30T18:48:00.000+10:30

An epiphany is described as having a sudden realisation. This happens when you can all of a sudden see the larger picture, or find the missing piece. I had an epiphany the other week. I realised that I finally have enough friends that more than one are sometimes free on the same night. It may sound like something small, but when you come to a new place and start out knowing no one, this is huge. I'm almost 3 years into life in Adelaide, and it did take well over 2 years to get to the point where I've felt as though I'm not so all alone. We often take our relationships for granted when we live in a place our entire lives, so to suddenly be without any (aside from our new spouse) can be extremely isolating. I've often compared making new friends as an expat to dating - we meet up with new people, in public places, for a drink or a meal, and see if we have anything in common other than the fact that we're looking for someone else to relate to. If we get along well enough the first time, we try again, perhaps adding in a movie or other such social event. Often times, after a few months of getting together, we realise we just aren't that into each other, and we move on. If we do find that we have some things in common, we spend a year or so getting to know each other better, until we're comfortable enough to just ring up one day out of the blue to meet up for lunch. It's work, which is probably why, after going through the dance a few times and securing some friends, we stop trying to make new ones. One thing we should learn from the expat friendship quest is that working on new relationships should be ever present and ongoing. In addition to the fact that expats move on much more frequently than those who live in the place they've grown up, and we'll lose everyday friends due to this, we become more aware (or should do) that meeting new people enriches our lives. I never ever make new year's resolutions, but I'm going to start this year by making it an active goal to keep meeting new people, at a time when I could become complacent simply because I do finally have some mates.

I Feel Emasculated

2010-12-15T20:32:00.001+10:30

I just realised that I've begun this post twice, in draft form. I only got as far as the subject line, but an interaction with my neighbour just now reminded me that I wanted to write about the topic. In my 3 years of living in Australia, I have realised that, much moreso than in the US, it is difficult to get men to acknowledge, listen to and communicate with you if you are a woman. One example - our neighbour has been using our driveway to get access to his own backyard, in order to install an inground pool. As a result of doing so, we need to organise a new fence. Here in Australia, both neighbours on the side of the fence being put up have to agree to the type, size and colour of the fence, and split the cost. (This means you have 3 different sets of neighbours you have to work with to get the fence done around your house, by the way.) In the beginning, M_ next door would come over to chat to us about the fence, but only communicate with hubs. He barely looked at me, and he certainly didn't ask my opinion. Granted, hubs lived here a few years without me and M_ doesn't really know me, but it is obvious I'm the wife, which means the fence is my fence as well. It's taken over a week to get any acknowledgement. When hubs went next door to talk to M_ about the fence, he simply advised me he was going, but didn't suggest I come with. Had I not insisted in being involved in the discussions taking place, I'm not entirely sure my opinion would have been requested. This seems to happen a lot with Aussie men; you have to work harder to be heard. Never before living here have I realised that there is not a feminine equivilant to the word emasculation. There should be.

P.S. In this instance, the title should perhaps have been, Good Fences Make Good Neighbors (and that's with a u, as Robert Frost was American).

Devastated

2010-10-19T19:33:00.005+10:30

I had my braces taken off today, 6 months after they were put on, and approximately 1 1/2 years after the fall that caused me to eventually need orthodontics. While I was explaining to the hygienist who I'd never met before (because that's who takes the braces off and fits the retainers here) about the fall, she asked how I felt when it happened. I paused, and then said...devastated. I never thought about how I felt when it happened specifically, and people have never asked; they only say "well that must have hurt." I thought all the time about 'if only' it hadn't happened, and was upset about it, but never put a particular word to it. But, it was devastating. Here I was, one year into life in Oz, not really having a good time of it - house renos sitting undone, husband working late, hating my job, and there I go and literally fall on my face, and my dentist 10,000 miles away. There were dental appointments, endodontist appointments, splints, bonding, very sore teeth, a bite that was off, not able to eat certain things (only graduated to being able to eat a sandwich without being in pain a couple of months ago), and then braces, for the 2nd time in my life. It has absolutely sucked. The end is in sight however, with just some major and minor cosmetic work to be done, fingers crossed. It felt good to say out loud today..."I was devastated." So I'm glad that hygienist asked me how I felt, even if she did then proceed to crack the bonding right off one of my teeth, but then that's another story.

The Siren Song of 'Home Leave'

2010-09-15T14:50:00.000+09:30

The expat going home for a visit doesn't typically term it a holiday or vacation, but calls it home leave. We take time off to visit family and friends, and if we're lucky we also get to relax and refresh. In order to do both the former and the latter, we need an employer that will allow appropriate time off, because you can't quite do it in a week or two. I'm lucky enough, finally, to have a boss who didn't blink an eye when I asked for 5 weeks off. And at the end of the day, I'd leave a job that wouldn't allow me time to spend with my family. But that's getting off the original topic.

Generally, expats feel a pull between two identities - that of the person he or she was in our homeland, and the person we have become in our new home. At no time is this feeling more present than in the midst of home leave. I left Australia, as a (finally) proud South Australian, and landed in Chicago wanting to raise my arms up and clap upon landing in my home town. Here in Oz, I am a wife, a homeowner, and sometimes, an outsider. In Chicago, I feel like a diva. I whip around on expressways (on the right side of the road), I stay out late and challenge the bouncers at my regular drinking establishments, I know the customs... I can shop late, request an apple martini with Absolute Mandarin without the bartender looking confused, and ultimately, just feel like I belong. To be honest, I was afraid to leave - knowing that confidence wouldn't quite follow me back to Adelaide. There are always tears in the airport, and the relinquishment of the Chicago Susan. And there is the feeling that the confidence, power, and ease that comes from being in one's own environment isn't really worth giving up. And then I get on the plane, and 30 hours later, upon landing in Adelaide, the siren song of home slowly dissipates. Within a few days, I realise that Australia really is becoming home for me. I like my house, my marriage is maturing in a wonderful way, and I love my job. The pieces are falling into place, far from where I come from, and while I may not be Chicago Susan, I'm happy with the person I am becoming.

Being One of the Gang

2010-09-14T21:38:00.001+09:30

I have a somewhat blunt & immature way of expressing myself, as my 'friends' on Facebook know. For instance, I think Julia Gillard is a bit of a *#$!. Something that bugs the shit out of me lately is the attitude towards immigrants in Australia, and it didn't help that she pandered to public opinion by stating that 'we don't need a big Australia.' So I take it that means she doesn't want me here - or is it just the supposed undesirables that arrive on the boats. To that I say, we are one and the same, aside from the fact that I had a bit more of a choice, and I can go and see my family whenever I want. When people talk about immigrants and foreigners in front of me, I thank them for being so considerate. And they often state that they mean the bludgers, not me. Well, guess what - I happen to be an immigrant, and as such, I too sometimes feel as though I'm not a perfect fit. After spending heaps of time feeling as though I don't belong here, I finally decided it was time to get over it. The turning point was probably when the clerk at Foodland asked me where I was from (see my earlier post). I've decided that from now on, I belong. The change in personal attitude changes the way people react to me. Try it.

The Unfriend

2010-07-25T13:25:00.003+09:30

I've been doing a bit of Facebook clean out the last few days. I'm 'unfriending' people who I never speak to, who I perhaps added as a result of one or two meetings, as well as those acquaintences who only seem to come onto my page to insult me. The problem with Facebook friends is that only a small minority of them are actually that. Most of the people you link with don't really know you very well, and vice versa. You often link with folks who aren't very mature, and can't grasp the idea that it's ok to agree to disagree. I have a lot of strong, sometimes controversial opinions, which have their place. I don't voice them at work, or among certain family, but I do sometimes talk about them on Facebook. I'm often amazed by the lack of respect others show for an opinion differing from theirs. On the other hand, the bonus is that, while in a new country and trying to make new connections and friends, I can easily suss out the ones that I'm not interested in keeping by posting an occasional opinion;)

The Slow Track

2010-07-23T21:37:00.000+09:30

I love my 'new' job, but it has been absolutely full on lately. We're down a few staff, which is both a good and bad thing. It's good, because it gives me an opportunity to pick up new projects and challenges across different areas, and...well, not bad, just a tad tiring. It's made me realise that after years of feeling bad that after a proper education, I was just an administrator, I'm actually quite glad that I've only slowly moved up the food chain. If being down a few staff has made me busy, it's got a couple of my managers running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Makes me glad that I haven't yet gotten to the point in my career where I'm just someone else's bitch.

How to Make Waffles in Australia

2010-07-18T10:12:00.002+09:30

....with a US waffle maker, that is. Spot the transformer?

Adelaide Zoo

2010-06-30T20:11:00.003+09:30

I forgot to share my zoo pics. This is what I get for posting things on Facebook - too many social media outlets! I can say that Adelaide Zoo is fairly impressive, and this is coming from a Chicago girl (we have 2 zoos and one of them is even free). The pandas are all the rage these days and bringing heaps more tourists to Adelaide. Here's Wang Wang in all his glory - no shame at all, this one!

You Been a Good 'Ole Wagon...

2010-06-07T18:16:00.007+09:30

There's nothing like growing up spoiled to make you suffer when it finally comes time to make it on your own (meaning, buy your own shit when there's no one around to give you new or almost new stuff). I've talked about my beloved 1st car, and well appreciated 2nd car...and my absolute bomb of a 3rd car/1st car I bought on my own. This car I have now is just waiting to get defected. She has a power steering leak that isn't worth fixing. Someone let their dog chew the parking brake handle off. The last owner obviously hit something on the the front passenger side, and kept on going until a big gash was created all the way back to the back door, then filled it in with Bondo and used white spray paint, which rust is now showing through. I think someone poured Coke all over the back seat, and I recently found a half-eaten package of Tic Tacs in the crevice where you fold the back seats down. Today I was asked to take one of the work cars home for a few days....a 4wd diesel. I got home an hour a half ago and I'm still giddy. My husband, the petrol head, still doesn't realise how much we have in common when it comes to loving cars (I love the new and he loves the fast) so he laughed at me when I rang him to talk about my wonderful drive home. Keep your fingers crossed for me I get to keep this one a few days. Regardless, old wagon...sad to say, but you are soon on your way out.

The Novelty of the Day

2010-06-06T13:45:00.000+09:30

One of the common irritations of being an expat is being constantly asked, at the beginning of a conversation with a stranger, where one is from. It didn't bother me so much at the start of my days abroad, but at this point in time I'm over it, particularly when it comes from the local checkout person. Yesterday while hubs and I were paying for our groceries, the lady behind the till said..."And where are you folks from?" Stunned out of my flirty discussion with my man about how I'd snuck an extra chocolate bar into the cart, I turned my eyes to our lady with a glance that asked if she had two heads and said, "We're from here." Of course I got a confused look back, so I followed up by pointing to hubs and stating "He's from here. I'm from Chicago...but I live here now." That led to the usual questions about how long I've been here, and whether I like it. I realise people can't help asking, but it seems like just when I'm being most at home, I'm treated like an outsider. It gets on my tits, gives me the shits, and will probably be the same 20 years from now. My mom said the reason the checkout chick knew I was a foreigner was because I'm rude;)

The Path to 'Normalacy'...or...It's Fun to Reflect

2010-06-03T18:13:00.008+09:30

(Happy Bday Trang-ster!)

Post-Steve

Just look what my husband has done to me. I read an article many years back about the new STDs, meaning bad habits you acquire as a result of a new relationship. I've had many incarnations over the years. I used to have a shaved head (and a few other unique haircuts). Now, I use a straightener:/ I blame the old man....

Everybody Poops

2010-05-14T14:43:00.006+09:30

Australian women are funny about the toilet. I noticed it straight away when we stayed with my in-laws out first few weeks here and they had smelly spray in the loo...even the kids used it. On top of that stuff being carcinogenic, everybody poops, and everyone's poop stinks. In my workplaces here, the toilet spray has been present at all. Some even had automatic sprayers attached to the walls. (I'm not sure if they are motion, time or even smell sensored!) To be fair, Aussie loos (at home) are small; they only contain the toilet as the bathroom next door has the sink and shower and/or bath. And then there is the aspect of water consciousness - dual flush toilets and the lesser amount of water in the bowl. The other week at work, a sign appeared. It stated - "Be consider to your fellow toiler users. Remember to flush and brush!" Now, tell me what is worse, a bit of a skid mark on the bowl, or a brush, next to the toilet, with feaces on it? I would suggest that these women...pull their heads in!

Our Bodies, our Choice

2010-05-13T21:21:00.004+09:30

Many years ago, while working for a large non-profit organisation, there was a very heavy woman, some would even say obese. Despite this, she wore short skirts...and she made it work. I mentioned this to a co-worker who was surprised, and seemed disgusted, by my comment. At the time, I was simply thinking that if this woman felt comfortable in that skirt, and it looked no worse on her than it would look on me, at 110 pounds (back then anyway!), why shouldn't she wear the skirt. Others didn't want to be subjected to her thick legs and round bottom, perhaps, but who were they to impose their ideals about weight and dress code on her. I was reminded of this situation in the past weeks while reading about the suggested ban on the burqa in Belgium and then France. The Belgians and French want to make it illegal for women to wear head and facial coverings in public. They, and their supporters, claim this is a common sense approach to terrorism. In France this week, a resolution was passed that calls the wearing of the burqa and similar covering 'contrary to the values of the nation'. It was passed by all lawmakers in the French parliament. This resolution will make the next step easier - to ban the burqa. It amazes me that so many people can't see this for what it is - racial intolerance and anti-immigration sentiment. What will happen if the burqa is banned? Muslims will stop moving to France, and women will be stuck inside. Ultimately, this is a feminist issue, and for as much as the French people get in the streets to protest, I'm surprised French feminists don't rise up right now. Some Muslim women wear the burqa, niqab and hijab because they want to, some because they have to, and some probably do so because their peers do (the same reason I straighten my hair - I saw it on someone else). A few of them might stop wearing it, but many might simply become prisoners in their own homes. So a seemingly progressive, free nation like France is completely ignoring the rights of female citizens/residents in order to remain 'French'. I love to travel, but I consider where my tourist dollars are going, and as much as I love France, I won't heading there anytime soon.

I'm Out of Words

2010-05-11T10:23:00.002+09:30

So I've been doing the expat blog thing for the last 5 years or so now. I think I'm out of topics! Have I become a boring old married, settled into my new home/country/marriage with nothing more to write about? It's all work, house repairs and the hope of an occasional trip these days. The blog has dwindled down to a once a month post, on average, this past year. The expat roller coaster has settled down and there's not much to get off my chest, which is a good thing, but not helpful in keeping me active with my writing. Perhaps I should put out a call for topics, although I'd bet I've lost some readers in the past 12 months.

Whoosh Whoosh .. Bang

2010-04-17T00:35:00.004+09:30

I just experienced my 1st earthquake. (It was kind of cool.) Initially, I thought it was wind, then after the bang part, I was worried the waterbed was finally about to crash into the basement (we have added water quite a few times). So I sent a text, chatted to a friend on the phone, then I got online and checked Facebook, then Twitter, then online news. It never once occured to me to turn on the TV or radio....

Expat-iversary

2010-04-08T09:33:00.002+09:30

On the 3rd April, I celebrated two years of residency in Australia. As mentioned in a previous post, I set the 2 year mark when I first got here as a sort of milestone, committing myself to having patience with the frustrations of living in a new place, with a new husband, being a new homeowner, on the search for the right job. I can say with confidence that at this point in the game, any frustrations I feel are the normal frustrations of a homeowner/wife/professional. The intial annoyances of being an expat have mostly worn off (although I still get irritated when someone at the shops asks me how long I'm in Oz on holidays) and I do feel at home here. I'm still wanting a few major things completed on the house, and a newer car would be nice, but I have the job I want, I've made some friends, and Adelaide is where I want to be.

Enjoying the Silence

2010-04-07T09:30:00.002+09:30

I'm glad to be back in Adelaide after a long weekend in Melbourne. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the break and a wander around a new place, but one thing I couldn't wait to get away from...was the people. There were just so many of them. Coming from Chicago, I wouldn't have expected this to bother me, but after 2 years in Adelaide, I think I've simply gotten used to a slower pace and fewer crowds. I feel like I can breath again, being back here. This brings me to a topic that's been heavily debated in the news here in Oz lately - population growth. Australia's population is anticipated to grow to 36 million by 2050, heavily due to immigration. Our prime minister is keen to see this happen, stating that we need a "big" Australia. The question is, do we/will we have the infrastructure to support 14 million more people and why do we need that many more people? I'm all in favour of immigration, as long as we aren't taking in people we can't support, and as long as they're going about it the right way. There are boat loads of illegal immigrants showing up in Australian waters, many of whom are being granted some sort of residency. I say, turn them back. I had to pay over $2,000 and provide two folders full of supporting evidence for my spousal visa, to show I had a genuine reason to migrate to Oz. If we intend to purposely grow our population, we need to do it the right way, plan properly, and make sure we can not only support those already here, but any persons coming in the future. Those who immigrate need to have something to bring to Australia, and earn their residency.

We Bin to Mel-Bin

2010-04-06T17:38:00.026+09:30

Because it's NOT pronounced Mel-born! All in all, it was lovely to have a weekend away and time together exploring a new place. That being said, I can't recommend Melbourne as an international tourist destination. We here in Adelaide have heaps better sights to see.

For example, we have beaches. They have to do their diving in the CBD.

There's only one TV in Melbourne, and you have to go to Federation Square to watch.
Despite all this, we enjoyed our weekend, taking in the sights.

Made new friends.

Ate heaps of sweets.

Steve enjoyed the artwork.

And I was overjoyed to procure a bottle of watermelon Jarritos on our last day.

More Home Reno

2010-03-27T09:30:00.008+10:30

So far, we've replaced the cooktop, fridge, microwave, and now the flooring in the kitchen. In about 5 years or so, we'll gut the lot. So glad to be rid of the 70s carpet! If anyone needs a recommendation for a flooring (vinyl/carpet) installer, let me know as I'm more than happy to recommend the fella that did ours. He did a great job and was reasonably priced; will be having him back eventually to do carpeting.

Customer Service in Australia

2010-03-23T15:04:00.002+10:30

Oi, can't ya see I'm busy!!

Grocery Shopping in Oz

2010-03-20T14:56:00.003+10:30

One thing Steve and I almost always do together is the grocery shopping. It's more fun, it shares the responsibility, and we tend to save money when Steve's along;) Note above the Aussie tendency to shorten all words, and the legal issues regarding stating where your dollar is going.

Election Woes in SA

2010-03-19T10:07:00.003+10:30

Tomorrow is election day. Yes, on a Saturday, millions of South Australians will be forced to take part in compulsory voting on the weekend, in order to elect a new Premier, among others. They'll muddle through a preferential voting system, ranking their preferred candidates according to who they would least mind winning. Upon questioning my husband as to who he is voting for, at least who will receive his 'top' vote, he told me definitely not candidate A. That seems to be the consensus from all the Aussies I've spoken to. They don't like anyone for Premier, but there is one they dislike over all others. So, on my first proper election day in Oz, my understanding of preferential voting is that Aussies vote by ranking the candidates according to who they dislike the least being on top. (It doesn't really sound that much different to home does it?)

The Adelaide Festival(s)

2010-03-07T16:26:00.010+10:30

Adelaide is known as the Festival State. At no time is this more apparent than in February/March, when the Fringe Festival, Adelaide Festival, and Womad are on. We went to a play last night as part of the Adelaide Festival, than wandered down to the riverfront, to see the Northern Lights and stop off at the Artists' Bar.

The Most Expensive Pairs of Shoes I've ever Bought - or Why American Healthcare is Better than Australian

2010-03-02T15:59:00.005+10:30

I estimate that these shoes will end up costing me approximately $6,000. As of next Wednesday, I'll be around $3,000 out of pocket for dental work, with another $3,000 or so to follow over the next 2 years. Hopefully, that will be the end of it although I'm guessing that there'll be some (not cheap) cosmetic maintenance for the rest of my life. That big smile you see in this pic doesn't exist any more. For the second time, I'll have braces, although this time around, I'm opting for the clear ones. After that, I get a cap on one of my teeth. My goal is to be able to eat ribs again some day, but eating crusty bread without pain would be a good start.

Lesson - don't wear girly shoes, and if you do, don't fall off the porch in them and land on your face!

By the way, I bought those shoes for $25 (down from $90) at the Nordstrom Rack store about 10 years ago and have only worn them a handful of times. They weren't a bargain in the end. The second part of the title - if I had American dental care, it would have covered ... every... last... cent!

What we Do Differently, Part 1

2010-03-01T12:54:00.000+10:30

Quite often, people back home tell me they couldn't do what I've done, that the change would be too much for them to handle. I've deleted the link, but I found a post on another expat blog describing what that expat does differently, now that she's moved countries. Here are a few things that have changed for me.

1. I drive a cosmetically challenged, '93 Toyota Camry wagon. Since buying it for $1500 a little over a year ago, I've replaced tires, the battery, starter motor, and various other inexpensive bits and bobs. It runs fine, but it's definitely my first 'bomb'. In '93, when I was 17, my first car was my mom's old '87 Camry wagon with all the bells and whistles - electronic readout on the dash, seatbelts that put themselves into place when you shut the door and turned on the car, sun roof, and power windows (none of which I have on my current car). When my mom bought a new Saturn in '97, I talked her into giving it to me (I was a VERY spoiled 'child').

2. I never had any savings to speak of when I lived in the US, and I always bought what I wanted when I wanted it. Now, I put a 1/3 of each paycheck into savings as soon as I get it. I split that savings into 5 equal amounts, for specific things I'm saving for (for example, flights home, a container to ship my US furniture and belongings to Oz eventually, a car fund so I can replace my 'bomb' with something a bit nicer...) If I was still living in the US, I wouldn't need to save for these things. Another 1/3 of my paycheck goes directly to mortgage and house repairs, and I pinch my pennies to live off the remaining 1/3 until the next payday. I have no debt, don't have a credit card to my name in Oz, and don't buy anything until I have the money for it. There are few luxuries, and I don't feel the need for them to be honest. I buy clothes when I go home for visits since it's cheaper, and occasionally treat myself to a pedicure and meals out with friends.

3. I do at least 2 different grocery shops each time I go. For general groceries, and sometime meat, I go to the supermarket, although quite often we make a separate trip to the butcher for meat. For veggies, I either go to the veg shop in the mall, or more likely, to Central Market. Veg is much cheaper, and heaps fresher, there.

More to come as I think of them. In the meantime, to those of you who say you couldn't do this, I say you don't know until you've tried.

Negativity in the Expat World

2010-02-26T17:53:00.001+10:30

"The problem is, and this sounds really obvious, that when you move to a foreign country you're a long way from home. What I mean is, you're a long way from your mates and family. You're forced to fit in with everyone else. You don't have the comfort of knowing that later on, down the pub, you can tell everyone "and then she poured coffee on my cornflakes" and get some sympathy."

-In the Merde for Love, by Stephen Clarke

Although no one here has tried to pour coffee on my cornflakes, this paragraph in the above book struck a resonance with me. When things happen here that seem completely, cultural strange to me, there often isn't anyone around that I can look to who will confirm the ridiculousness. That being said, one thing I avoid like the plague down here is other expats who only want to complain. Most often, it seems that other Americans are the most likely to make the assumption that I'm going to readily agree with their thinking that Australia is backwards, the people are less intelligent, and the way back home is always the right way. I can understand the frustration with things being different, but the best way to keep yourself from settling into your new life is to surround yourself with negativity. It's ok to complain a bit, and it's often necessary to a certain extent, but finding the positives in your new environment, even if hard work, is important.

Adelaide in Photos

2010-02-13T17:40:00.002+10:30

Great site, if you'd like to see more of where I live - Adelaide in Photos.

101 in 1001

2010-01-02T01:37:00.008+10:30

*Bumping this one up as it's been over a year since I started it now. I still don't have 101 things, but am happy to say that in the past year+, out of (previously) 66 items, I've completed 25 and have another 12 in progress. (January 2010)

As seen on Day Zero
(I don't usually have trouble completing task lists, although this one is a monster. It is a hugely refreshing task in that it allows me to see what will be accomplished 3 years from now, and that's a lot!)

The Mission
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Start date : 11 November 2008
End date : 9 August 2011 (I'll be almost 35!)

Key:
Not yet started
In progress
Complete

House
1. Paint 2 bedrooms
2. Finish the table I started stripping
3. Install ceiling fans in 2 bedrooms
4. Complete porch
5. Redo front bathroom
6. Redo main bathroom
7. Install heat
8. Install air conditioning
9. Get new front windows
10. Complete games room
11. Paint laundry
12. Ship container from US
13. Buy new lounge suite
31. Begin a vegetable garden
32. Make the pomegranite tree healthy again
40. Get veranda on porch (possibly a 5+ year project)
41. Remove wall heater from lounge
42. Remove oil heater & tank from dining room/outside wall
43. Get rain water tank
46. Redo walk-in closet
51. Replace carpeting in 3 bedrooms
53. Put screens in windows
54. Put fly screen on vent bricks to get rid of the bees
59. Get new curtain rods for the front rooms
64. Plant a lime tree
65. Make peach tree healthy
66. Install new water heater
67. Replace windows in 3 bedrooms
68. Replace windows in dining room and kitchen
69. Replace sliding door
70. Get light-blocking blinds/curtains in 3 bedrooms, kitchen & dining room
71. Fix roof
72. Get house painted
73. Replace floor in kitchen/hallway

Personal/Professional/Cultural
18. Successfully form an International social group in Adelaide that includes Aussies
20. Invest time in 3 new friendships
21. See a play
22. Find a place in Adelaide to go to for good massages & pedicures (and go once every 3 months)
25. Begin an herb garden
26. Convince hubs to have a planned date once a month
27. Attempt to begin writing professionally
44. Make 2 purchases per year from USA Foods
52. Learn to cook a proper lamb stew or tagine
55. Get a full-time job I enjoy!!!!
58. Attempt to home brew some beer
60. Hike Waterfall Gully to Mount Lofty

Sightseeing/Travel
28. Visit Melbourne
29. Visit Tasmania
33. Go to the Mt Lofty Botanic Garden
34. Go to Tandanya
35. Go on a tour of Parliament House
36. Attend Fridays Uncorked at the Wine Centre
37. Beer tasting at Cooper's Brewery
38. Try Horus Egyptian Cafe & Shisha House
39. Visit Canberra
45. Go back to Hahndorf for a Rueben and Pot Belly pies!
56. Attend an Adelaide United Game
57. See an SA baseball game
61. Suss out Chili Mojo and Norwood
62. Visit Hallett Cove
63. Hit every Irish pub in the Adelaide area at least once

Health
14. Develop a regular yoga routine
15. Drink 3 glasses of water a day
16. Take a multi-vitamin every day
17. Learn to cook 5 (very good) vegetarian meals (1 per week for a month)
19. Get up in time to either do yoga or have breakfast before work, 3x per week
23. Stop drinking juice and eat 2 pieces of fruit per day instead
24. Bring lunch to work at least 3 days per week
30. Go on a hike once a month
47. Eat oatmeal or cereal for breakfast 4x per week
48. Eat plain yogurt or toast & vegemite as a morning snack 4x per week
49. Eat veggies or fruit and nuts as an afternoon snack 4x per week
50. Begin a food tracking blog and blog what I eat each day for 2 weeks

Two Years Up

2010-01-01T01:58:00.003+10:30

In just about three months, I'll have been living in Australia for two years (consecutively). When I first got here, I told myself I'd give it two years. Most resources for expats will tell you that it takes an average of two years to start to feel settled in. This isn't to say I was planning on leaving after two years if it didn't work out, only that I made a conscious decision to be especially patient with myself, my environment, and others around me for the first two years. Making that decision probably helped to keep me sane these last couple of years. I highly recommend this to new expats.

Happy New Year!

Supposedly I'm Middle Aged

2009-12-31T01:00:00.001+10:30

According to Erikson's Psychosocial Stages, I'm middle aged. I'm not quite mid-30's yet, but I definitely don't fit into stage 6, which is intimacy vs isolation. I have gone past young adulthood, it seems. This article, on Expat Exchange, where I got the below, (obviously) geared the stages towards expats.

"Stage 7
Middle Agers (Mid 30s-Early 60s): Generativity vs. Stagnation - Adults in the heart of their lives need to be productive and have a sense that they are able to create something of value in their lives.
For Expats: What do you hope to accomplish as an expat? How is it going to impact your long-term goals? Do you have long-term goals? When one elects to move abroad, a lot of soul searching is likely to take place. Take advantage of that by giving some real thought to where you've been, where you are, and where you hope to get to in terms of accomplishments. "

I was asked, at a recent job interview, where I saw myself in 10 years. Funnily enough, just before heading to the interview, a work colleague and I were discussing the '5 year plan' interview question. I hate these types of questions. Had someone asked me 5 years ago where I would be today...well, let's just say I would have been so far off with the answer. I've never really had long-term goals, other than to travel more, find a good travel buddy/life partner, and to someday be working in a job where using my brain, in a way I enjoyed, was actually part of my daily work. Becoming an expat has actually furthered these goals, directly yet without a structured plan involved. I have been in 5 different countries in the past 5 years, completed a Master's degree, gotten married, become a homeowner, and now, just finally, for the first time since I left uni over 10 years ago, gotten a job I actually really want.

Birdwood

2009-12-30T17:23:00.009+10:30

Actual petrol station, dismantled & rebuilt in the museum
Administration building

Sculpture outside the museum

Ute!

Road Train

The variety and quality of tourist attractions in Adelaide keep surprising me. Today Steve and I beat the heat by heading to the National Motor Museum in Birdwood. It's large, modern and has a great selection of vehicles. We managed to spend 2 1/2 hours there (Steve's a car buff and I'm a bit of a museum junkie).

Happy Christmas from Oz

2009-12-24T15:08:00.007+10:30

Our Christmas festivities began last Friday with Steve's work xmas do. The silly little jokes and odd paper hats come out of Christmas crackers, which are placed on the table at xmas meals. The next night we were off to a Chrissie barbie at Steve's mate Steve's house (1 out of every 3 guys down under are named Steve), where Steve was busy roasting a whole lamb on the spit, and Steve was chilling out with a beer;) Tuesday night we went off to Lobethal to see the lights, where Santa was out in his front yard greeting all the passers by with a warm Aussie Ho Ho Ho. Santa's neighbour was selling cherries to all the tourists. Happy Christmas to ya'll out there, and if you're in a cooler climate, please send some snow my way!

A New Do

2009-12-16T09:31:00.003+10:30

One day while my aunt was visiting, we were sitting at the dining room table, with a fan aimed directly at us, while we tried to beat the heat. She looked at me and said something to the effect of: "I want to do something for you. Let's go and get you a haircut. It'll make you feel better." Now, in the 1.5+ years I've been in Oz, I'd had a grand total of 2 haircuts. This is unusual for me. I've had my hair shaved, bobbed, cropped, dyed, etc over the years. Since I met my husband, I haven't done much with it at all aside from one unique cut on our honeymoon, over 2 years ago. Since then I've not been willing to take the risk, for some reason, so my hair, while having some layering in it, has spent most of it's time up in a poneytail. Yesterday I took the plunge and walked around the corner to a new place by work, and got about 5 inches cut off. I couldn't feel better, and I'm not sure quite why it's taken me so long. Pics are forthcoming.
P.S. Big thumbs up for Cinderella on Leigh Street!

Out of the Mouths of...

2009-12-07T20:38:00.004+10:30

boys come the most amusing comments. I really should start keeping a list of the things my husband comes up with. In the care package I got from my aunt this week, she included a little sleigh with a heap of tiny Christmas pressies. I mentioned to my husband the other night that one of my other aunts had wrapped all of these little packages up years ago by hand (you can see them atop the heater in my last post, by the way). Yesterday, he looked over at the sleigh and said..."Those little boxes...is there chocolate in there?!" A one track mind....

And the Stockings Were Hung by the Chimney with Care...

2009-12-05T11:27:00.006+10:30

...with some goodies in them already, thanks to a care package from home. I've now acquired a 2nd xmas tree, and a 'fireplace' since last year, so the house is looking a bit more festive.

Family Time

2009-11-18T18:56:00.005+10:30

Suffering the heat with grace

The Australian wave, or why not to go to the St Kilda Mangroves on a hot, fly-infested day

The longer I am away from home, the harder it seems to become to be away from family, or so it feels some days. On the other hand, one benefit of being far from home is that the people you love most come to visit you, for weeks at a time.

Cheesefest

2009-10-20T10:01:00.003+10:30

Summer seems to have arrived in Adelaide, finally, and with it more blog posts:) Hubs and I went to Cheesefest on Sunday, and I have the sunburn to prove it. In 2 hours, with suntan lotion on, I have still turned into a bit of a redneck. Next time I will forgo the suntan lotion samples and stick with my trusty Cancer Council 30+. $10, a souvenir wine glass, and off you go. Nepenthe had some nice Chardonnay, and we ended up going home with 6 glasses in total (what, some folks left theirs behind so we helped clear the tables while leaving). I didn't take any pics at Cheesefest, but Susie did, and I'm sure she won't mind me giving a link back to her blog. Woodside was by far the best cheese there, and the lemon myrtle is a must try (Aunt Liz, this place has a sampling room right next to Melba's Chocolates, both of which we'll be taking you to one weekend day while you're visiting). Less than 2 years in, and we bumped into about 10 people I knew while there. See, Adelaide is a small place.

Ticking Things off the List

2009-10-19T09:39:00.000+10:30

I'm trying to keep track of all the posts I've made listing the things I want to do in Adelaide. Far too often, I skip things and say I'll do it next year, and while I have a lifetime here, I don't want to fall too far behind. These are the things that are left on my last few posts.

Things I Said I'd do Next Year (Apr '09)

Well, most of these things, aside from OzAsia Festival, are still to come (shhh, I missed OzAsia)

Things to do, Part 4 (Jan '09)

Visit the Lobethal Bierhaus
Take a trip to Hallett Cove Conservation Park
Visit the Cooper's Brewery

Things to do, Part 3 (Aug '08)

See the movie 'You The Living' (will have to rent it now)
Tandanya (will be ticking this off in a couple of weeks when Aunt Liz comes to visit)

Part 2, discovered under the heading: Top Tips for Expat Transitions (June '08)

Horus Egyptian Cafe & Shisha House (I'm not so sure I still want to do this one, to be honest, so will consider it ticked off the list)

Things I Want to do Over the Next Few Weeks (May '08)

I have made it to a few yoga classes since arriving, but I haven't gotten into a routine yet, so my aim is to do so before '09 is over

So I haven't done too poorly, in looking over the lists, but I still have some work to do!

What's Your Blogging Code of Conduct?

2009-10-18T15:58:00.000+10:30

A Free Man's most recent blog post gave me pause to think about my unwritten blogger code of conduct. It's far too easy to say things online that you wouldn't say in person, and easier yet to forget you're saying them to a larger audience. A few things I keep in mind when blogging:

No last names (for some level of anonymity)
Never bag your significant other; it's just not cool.
Never bag your family; they'll get you back.
Never say anything you might later be embarrassed to admit you've said (which should really go for verbal speech as well)
Never say anything that could get you into real trouble in real life
Don't talk about where you work (same reason as why there are no last names)

When I began blogging, it was more so I could retain all of my stories of life abroad in one place, and avoid the dreaded group emails. Now that I can see I've had approximately 4,000 views of my profile in the last 4 years or so, and have my blog listed and writings posted on other expat sites, I realise that I have some responsibility for my actions here, so to speak. I'd love to babble on about my political views, or give you my thoughts on my workplace, but then I'd have to be accountable for pissing somebody off;)

10 Things I Have Succumbed To

2009-10-12T10:07:00.010+10:30

Over at Pond Parleys, Michael and Toni are talking about the things they haven't yet succumbed to in their 'new' countries, as well as things they cling to from their place of origin. I thought I'd take a slightly different angle and write about 10 things that I have succumbed to since arriving in Australia over a year and a half ago.

1. Eating kangaroo and Vegemite. Both are healthy and versatile, and both can be ingredients for chili:)

2. While I'm still learning how to speak strine, I reckon it's heaps good not to resist the local slang!

3. (Some) Aussie pronunciations and spelling. I know pronounce my H's (although only when saying the letter on it's own; herb is still 'erb) and Z is 'zed'. U is added to words like colour, labour, harbour, etc and seems like second nature these days.

4. Mint sauce with lamb. Paula will hate me for this...I tried not to, but I had this amazing homemade mint sauce that was just to die for at an xmas in July party, and then some marinated lamb chops last week that were out of this world. If the mint sauce is made well, there are few things comparable!

5. Another one on the food theme is using both a knife and fork to eat my food. It still seems a bit posh, but it actually works pretty well.

6. Roundabouts, which scared the crap out of me about a year ago, make traffic run so much smoother. I still slow down a bit too much at some times when entering them, but better cautious than crumpled I say.

7. Talking to strangers is at least a weekly occurrence here. Back home, I saw the same people at the bus stop for years on end, would never have thought of saying a word to them, and probably would have thought them nuts and had my keys on my knife as a weapon in the case of them speaking up.

8. Haggling in shops is the done thing, particularly if you're buying appliances or furniture, and I've saved a decent amount this way.

9. I have a clothes line in the basement, which I'm sure I've mentioned before, and hang all of my laundry to dry. I do miss a proper vented tumble dryer, and will probably get one again someday, but it's no longer a necessity.

10. Last but not least, having the toilet in a separate room to the bath/shower seems a perfectly acceptable, and even good, set up!

While most of these things felt strange and uncomfortable to begin with, they're now second nature. Hopefully, in another 1 1/2 years I'll have 20 things to list!

Endless Summer – The Postcards Tour Finale

2009-10-01T09:14:00.004+09:30

Michael Harling is a fellow American Expat living in the UK. I believe we met via an expat forum for Americans in the UK, some time ago. (As many of you will recall, I spent over a year living in England.) Michael's been touring the blogosphere, as a guest poster, and has chosen Suzer's Expat Adventures as one of his final destinations. Have a look at his other posts here. And if you have some extra reading time, don't miss Michael's other blog, Pond Parleys, which he 'co-hosts' with fellow British expat in the US, Toni Hargis. By the way, when you do make it to Australia in person Michael, we'll introduce you to our local brew, Cooper's. No one here touches Foster; it's export only I believe!

Endless Summer – The Postcards Tour Finale

I started this tour just as summer was beginning, so it seems fitting to end it just as summer draws to a close and autumn takes over. It’s been fun and I’ve met a lot of great people, but touring is tiring, even in the virtual world, so I’m taking advantage of that magic we call the Internet to round up the Kindness of Strangers Tour by relying on the kindness of several strangers at once. In a way, making my final tour stop to ten locations simultaneously seems the perfect ending for it—one big autumnal burst before quietly fading away.

This tour began as a means of promoting my book, but it soon became an end in itself and took on a life of its own. Very often, I found myself having such a good time “visiting” people around the globe that I forgot to mention the book. To date, my trip has taken me from Britain to Canada, sunny Spain, Tenerife and even back to my own hometown, ending up here in Australia with fellow American expat-Suzer.

This is the perfect place to end my tour because, as summer has drawn to a close back home, it is just beginning down here. Suzer tells me she’s going to put some Fosters on ice and fire up the Barbie (I’m assuming she means she’s going to light the barbeque grill and not set a perky little glamour doll on fire). So as soon as I finish this post we’re heading out back to enjoy the evening, watch the setting sun make the earth glow even redder and listen to the didgeridoos in the distance. I think I’m going to like it here.

I have to say, of all the adventures I might have imagined for my life as a young boy, touring the blogsphere on other people’s blogs was not a contender. But then the idea of leaving my quiet, rural life, moving to England, marrying a foreigner and writing a book about it never occurred to me, either. I’m glad and grateful for having done both, however, and although the tour is coming to an end, the adventure continues.

May yours continue as well.

Thanks and Good-bye from
The 2009 KINDNESS of STRANGERS TOUR?
Visit the Tour Page for the latest Tour updates.

Michael Harling is the author of
“Postcards From Across the Pond – dispatches from an accidental expat”
“Laugh out loud funny regardless of which side of the pond you call home. Bill Bryson move over, there’s a new American expat in town with a keen sense of humor.”
-- Jeff Yeager, author of “The Ultimate Cheapskate”

Visit the Home Page: http://postcardsfromacrossthepond.blogspot.com/

PC or not to be...PC

2009-09-09T09:28:00.006+09:30

Living in the US, I always felt under restriction as to what I could express verbally. America is supposedly the land of free speech, but we have more rules about verbal etiquette than anywhere else I have lived so far. One area of conversation I particularly felt I had to watch my tongue on was race relations. We Yanks are so bloody touchy on this topic. I wonder how some of my fellow Americans would react to me calling myself a minority. How would they feel about me saying I have a better understanding now of what it's like to not feel like I fit in with the majority. I often wondered why immigrants in the US tended to surround themselves with other immigrants, and why it was so common for us to also segregate ourselves based on colour. Part of the answer is that it's just easier. It takes work to try and fit into a new/different culture. Also, those who are in the majority typically just don't understand what those in the minority go through. I've been here for almost a year and a half now and I do have some Australian acquaintences and friends, but more immigrant connections. The Australians I do know and spend time with tend to have had more 'wordly' experiences than most, either having done a stint overseas or a foreign partner, etc. As I continue to settle in, however, I do hold out hope that I'll make more Aussie mates along the way. On that note, my stage 2 visa paperwork came in the post this week. My police check application has been sent off, 1 of the 2 main forms I need to fill out has been started, and I'll be spending part of this weekend trying to finish up the rest. Wish me luck that it's a smooth and short process!

Culture Shock and Stress

2009-09-08T10:45:00.003+09:30

As I was reading this article today, the thought occured to me that I could still be in one of the stages of culture shock. Recently, a few other expats have mentioned to me that they were having trouble coping, either comparing themselves to others and wondering why they weren't enjoying life in Australia just as much, or admitting that they are seriously stressed out and not really happy at the moment.

Usually, I'm more than willing to admit the stress I am under, but since settling here in Australia, my 4th country of residence in as many years, I think I feel as though I should be just that...settled. I have a full-time job, a husband who I've just celebrated my 2nd wedding anniversary with, a house to call my own, and plenty of new friends and acquaintences that I am able to get together with on a regular basis. The thing is, all of these factors have their own complications. I've pretty much given up what were my career aspirations a couple of years back, due to the fact that there aren't as many pathways in Adelaide into my chosen field. On some level, I've come to accept that I will have to take a step back and re-build my skills, some old and some new, in order to someday create a job for myself that is alignment with what makes me happy. It will happen, but it's hard work and takes a lot of patience in the meantime. My husband is doing very well in his career; so well, in fact, that his average home time is probably about 8pm or later most nights. I hate this and it's caused me to have to re-work my expectations of what married life should look like. While I'm hoping it's only temporary, someday I may have to just accept that having a sit down dinner at the table before 7pm every night is never going to happen. Our house is a serious work in progress, and some of the unfinished projects feel like the physical embodiment of my mental state. This, however, should be alleviated in a few months, fingers crossed, although there are a few things I was very much hoping would be rectified before my Aunt's visit in November. Along these lines, I am dying to be able to reciprocate and invite many of my new friends over to the house for a few dinners, parties and such but I really can't yet because of the undone house projects.

I'm less willing to admit what is causing me stress or unhappiness because I don't want the folks back home to be worried, nor do I want the new people in my life to think I'm not doing well. To be honest, I'm not so sure that I'm not doing well; it's simply that some of things have to settle down at some point, and they will. In the meantime, I'm slightly exhausted! This is the first time in weeks, maybe a couple of months, that I have actually felt inspired and witty enough to write something I feel is worthy and coherent. Perhaps that's a good sign, for now anyway.

Slacker Update

2009-09-07T20:21:00.003+09:30

Ok so I've been a total slacker with the blog lately. I am very much anticipating the end of winter and the completion of some more house projects, the lack of both of which seems to suck up my mental energy these days. Hubs and I just had a lovely, and needed, anniversary weekend away in McLaren Vale, where we ate heaps, visited numerour wineries, and spent lots of time sitting in the hot tub and sauna. I think we should do this once every couple of months!

It Won't Be Long Now

2009-08-15T16:36:00.000+09:30

Nothing could have made me happier than to see that sing outside of Kmart that read "Kmart hours now, Monday to Friday, 8am to 9pm". Either this is a new thing, or I haven't been paying attention, but I am overjoyed to know that (aside from Thursday nights in the suburbs and Friday night in the city), there is more open after 5pm that just Bunnings and the supermarket. I've never been much for the blue light special, but pickers can't be choosers in Australia. I hope this means Target and Big W will be soon to follow, then the entire shopping centre, and in years to come, all businesses in Oz.

Patriotism and Identity

2009-08-09T10:36:00.008+09:30

I've always felt that there was a lot of truth to the supposition that if you don't know who or where you come from, then you can't know (entirely) who you are. To that extent, if you don't know how you fit into your own environment, you can't identify with that culture, and once again, you don't know who you are. A result of misplaced patriotism, racism, and a lack of acceptance of multiculturalism, is the creation of a nation of people who don't know who they are. With each wave of immigration in the US, there has been a corresponding wave of discrimination, and therefore a lack of integration by each new culture into the existing one. America is, to some extent, a nation of teenagers trying to figure out who they are. Australia is quickly following suit.

As mentioned in my last post, I spent some time the other morning reading an article in The Australian Literary Review section of The Australian called Seizing the Sauce Bottle. Tim Soutphommasane speaks to the topic of progressivism in politics, and patriotism as an ideal that should be upheld not as a hindrance to change, but rather the opposite. Too often, we think of patriotism as something that is held as a conservative or racist value rooted in ignorance. As Tim states in his article:

"Loving your country does not mean adhering
to unquestioned myths or mindlessly repeating slogans
but being prepared to contribute to the improvement
of your community or culture."

It raises the questions, what can we, as immigrants, do to contribute, and how have our perspectives on patriotism changed in respect to our views on both oour home and new country, after the move.

The Daily Paper

2009-08-05T10:15:00.003+09:30

I never read the newspaper when I was living in the US. The two local papers held no interest, and it often seemed to me that too much emphasis was placed on which paper you were meant to be reading, based on your ethnic background and/or where you lived in the Chicagoland area. I was also young and uninterested in what was going on locally, which seemed to be the focus of those two papers. Even though world events and travel were more of a focus, even if only in a more general sense, god forbid I think about reading anything from New York, which might have provided a larger world view. The first time the newspaper grabbed my attention was when I was living in the UK. I'd often grab The Guardian on the weekend, and sit reading it for a few hours. I was fascinated. This English paper seemed much more interesting, offering a more socially conscious, and less biased view, than anything I'd read before, on a broader range of topics. The problem with the Australian newspapers, according to what Aussie history and political perspectives I'd read about before arriving here, was that all the media in this country appeared to be controlled by one man, Rupert Murdoch. As a consequence, I haven't bothered much with the paper here, until today. The Advertiser seemed too local, and The Australian too gloomy. This morning, however, a caption on the front page of work's copy of The Australian grabbed my attention. The Battle for Patriotism, it reads, with a subheading of 'Rethinking Oz literature'. More to come later, but if you have access to The Australian today, I encourage you to read the article, Seizing the Sauce Bottle, in The Australian Literary Review. It's the best bit of Australian journalism I've come across in my time down under.

Movies for Old White Racist Bastards

2009-07-20T14:09:00.002+09:30

Hubs and I decided to have a movie and take-away night on Saturday. Well, actually I'd have to say that I decided and hubs agreed, provided it didn't involve any chick flicks. Usually we end up with at least one horror film, as that genre suits us both, and true to form we got some terrible thing called Quadrant, which I wouldn't recommend. The other film, Gran Torino, we could also agree on 1) because it somewhat revolves around an automobile [hubs] and 2) it got good reviews [me]. This was my first Clint Eastwood film, and will definitely be my last, unless someone straps me down to a chair and tapes open my eyelids, Clockwork Orange style. Gran Torino is about an old white racist bastard living in Detroit, who transforms into....oh wait, he's still an old white racist bastard at the end of the film. Unless you enjoy hearing racial slurs every 5 minutes, don't bother.

There’s a Road Train Going Nowhere

2009-07-03T14:40:00.002+09:30

Do any of you Yanks out there know what a road train is, without looking it up? I certainly had no clue when I first got here, just as I have very little clue what Midnight Oil's songs are about, beyond a superficial, general idea. Having just gotten my first Midnight Oil cd (which of course I couldn't listen to on the way to work, as no one has portable cd players anymore!) I think it's time for a bit more Australian education. Happy Independence Day by the way;)

Feminism and Islam, Part 2

2009-06-29T10:35:00.002+09:30

In response to some comments on the other post, it's not always a good idea to assume that wearing a burqa or hijab is always about oppression. Remember what they say; when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me. Did you all know that there was a time in Iran when new leadership imposed a law onto women that forbid them from wearing hijab? Older women who had worn hijab all of their lives stayed inside instead of going out in public. Can you imagine if all women in Australia or the US were forced to wear mini-skirts and expose their midriff?

To play devil's advocate, a certain level of invisibility can be a good thing, as a woman. When I was 16, and then again at 19, and the last time at 24 or 25, I had a shaved head. Majority of men treated me as less than female in public, there were no common flirtations back and forth, and I got so used to it that even now, I sometimes think that should be the norm. Remember, feminism is about choice.

Feminism and Islam

2009-06-25T10:17:00.002+09:30

In reading through the newspaper yesterday, I came upon an article discussing French President Nicolas Sarkozy's ban on the burqa in France. His argument was that it was degrading to women, and that France should not allow women to be treated in this way. To be honest, it sounded more as though it was an attempt to force French values on immigrants. This is not the first time aspects of Islam have been surpressed in France. I remember a few years back, there being a ban on hijab in schools. Since when has Mr. Sarkozy become the French authority on what is degrading to women, I ask? When Muslim women move overseas to places like France, they (some, at least) have a choice as to whether they want to wear hijab, just as nuns choose to wear a habit, orthodox Jewish women choose to wear wigs, and those of us who wear our hair down choose the style and length. It seems to me that France is far too worried about change, and imposing French values as a means of avoiding diversity.

Getting Ready for the 4th of July

2009-06-15T21:20:00.002+09:30

So I'm hopefully having a couple of guests over for the 4th of July, which is the Yank Australia Day, for those of you who don't know it. It won't be warm, and there won't be any fireworks, but at least I won't have to listen to any hillbilly music either. The baked beans and pineapple cake covered in coconut pecan frosting will be on the menu, as will ribs, hamburgers, hot dogs and potato salad. Absolute bummer of it is that I can't eat the ribs, nor will I ever be able to eat ribs again, unless they are the kind that fall of the bone, which is one of the most gutting things about my recent tooth injury:( Guess I'll have to learn how to cook them that way!

In Praise of International Students

2009-06-13T11:26:00.004+09:30

When are people going to realise that diversity makes things interesting, and is a positive complexity in so many ways. There was a special insert in The Advertiser this past week dealing with international students. If you're not in Australia, you may not realise what has been going on with regard to hate crimes against foreigners lately, mostly interstate but coming home to Adelaide this week as well. One car torched, another person bashed in Rundle mall, and fliers from the Australia First party being distributed around campus that request, "Overseas Students Go Home!" I was an international student, and I'm a foreigner, so I thought I would take a moment to personally address the 5 myths about international students mentioned in Denise Von Wald's (Chief Executive, Education Adelaide) article.

Myth: International students take the place of local students
There was only one English student on my course, which was an MA in International Tourism Management. In this case, Brits were typically more likely to finish a BA in Tourism and then hit the workforce. Had they been interested in the MA course though, there were plenty of places for them available.
Myth: International students pay massively inflated fees to ensure their acceptance into Australian institutions.
I had to pay at least twice as much as domestic students in the UK, and had to undergo the same entrance requirements.
Myth: International students work illegally while they're in Australia.
I spent most of my time in England with other international students, all of whom stuck to their 20 hour per week of allowed time in the workforce, and none of whom were paid under the table.
Myth: International students are all rich.
I took out loans to finance my MA in the UK, which on average, would take an individual 10 years to pay back, at a rate of about $200 a month.
Myth: International students study and leave, giving nothing in return to the SA community
Yes, I left the UK after having spent a year doing a degree, but if nothing else, I certainly stimulated the economy with my local grocery bills and other expenditures. I still have friends from my degree I keep in touch with, and at least one of them, who was from elsewhere in Europe, has stayed in the UK and has filled a niche role in the industry in which she studied.

Let There Be Heat

2009-06-08T18:37:00.002+09:30

We finally got our heater installed this past week, and have been enjoying it all the long weekend:)

Nice Surprises

2009-06-06T10:26:00.002+09:30

Everytime I call my Aunt Liz, as soon as she realises it's me, her voice changes when she says: "Susan!" I always thought it was nice but didn't understand how she could be that excited just to hear from me. The other night, my mobile rang at about 8pm and the name that showed up was my husband's brother D_. I was surprised he was ringing me, but then I said hello and heard a response hello and a pause, then..."It's J_", who's my nephew. It was his birthday and he was just ringing to say hi because I'd texted my bro & sis-in-law earlier in the day to wish him a happy birthday from us. It was so cool! It's cheesy but I think I'll always remember my first phone call from my nephew. I now get why Aunt Liz has a change of tone when she realises it's me on the phone.

Just Because I'm a Native English Speaker...

2009-06-01T20:59:00.004+09:30

I think Australians forget sometimes that I'm a foreigner too. For some reason, people here don't seem to think it's inappropriate to talk about the things they don't like about immigrants in front of me. Over the past week, I've heard the following negative things about immigrants from various cultural backgrounds:

They can't speak properly
They're lazy and/or unintelligent
They move too slow
They smell

It reminds me of being back in the US, and being in a group of whiteys who thought it was ok to make black jokes, although I almost find it more insensitive in this situation, as if I was black and people are making black jokes in front of me...or something to that extent. I speak up sometimes, but it gets real tiresome.

Friendly Doesn't Mean Friends

2009-05-25T08:36:00.001+09:30

If there is one thing in Australia that I'll never accept, it is that of people dropping by unexpectedly, or even calling to say they are in the area and wanting to drop in. My plan is to erect a fence at the front of the property as well, with an electric door for the driveway, which will be shut most of the time. I'm not an unfriendly person, but unless I invite you over, in advance, I probably don't want you here. At times, it feels as though I am living in Bizarro World. For example, when the ex rings up Saturday late afternoon and wants to stop by because she is in the area, I want to say: "Huh, what...well, of course not, it's Saturday night and I am spending it with my husband, alone, which I was looking forward to...duh." Instead I must be nice and say "Sorry but it's not a good time. We're very busy and have plans early tomorrow." I want to be friendly, but I don't want to be friends...but I want to be nice and manage boundaries without upsetting anyone. But at least there is pavlova. Yes, I know, this is a strange segway, but I have to acknowledge sometimes that I am living an utterly and completely different life. As the quote on the bottom of the page says, "Life in a foreign country is a dance of submission and resistance. ...you find yourself giving in easily, with a struggle, or not at all." Pavlova, particularly topped with bananas so as to taste similar yet even better than banana cream pie, I can give into easily. People stopping by unexpectedly I would have to give into with a struggle, but would prefer to give in...not at all.

Apoplectic

2009-05-20T19:08:00.001+09:30

Main Entry: ap·o·plec·tic
Pronunciation: \ˌa-pə-ˈplek-tik\
Function: adjective
Etymology: French or Late Latin; French apoplectique, from Late Latin apoplecticus, from Greek apoplēktikos, from apoplēssein
Date: 1611
1: of, relating to, or causing stroke2: affected with, inclined to, or showing symptoms of stroke3: of a kind to cause or apparently cause stroke ; also : greatly excited or angered

This is how I feel today, in regards to Australian customer service. More to come depending on the outcome of my encounter with Barbeques Galore tomorrow.

Kitty Kins

2009-05-08T19:05:00.003+09:30

There is a local (feral, I think, although here they call them tom cats and reserve the term feral for people) cat who used to use my lawn for his litter box. Now that I have bought a brand new door mat, he has taken to whizzing on my front door, which is wood. I rang the local council and RSPCA today and if it keeps up, will be inquiring with the neighbours to see if he belongs to anyone, then renting a cage to trap him and dropping him off to the RSPCA, who will give him some time, see if he is microchipped, and if not, unltimately euthanise him. I have bought some herbal sprinkles, removed the doormat and washed the screen and front door in hopes this will send him elsewhere, so I don't have to go the cage route:( He's very cute but....

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

2009-05-05T12:08:00.005+09:30

I do actually get to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this year, although a far cry from the proper meal as I will be having fish and chips at the pub, with workmates. Hey, at least I will be at the pub, and perhaps I shall get the Aussie bartender to make me something with tequila in it!

Universal Healthcare -or- Reduced Quality For All

2009-05-02T11:21:00.002+09:30

So at the moment I'm $900 out of pocket for medical/dental expenses, with much more to come on the dental side, and hopefully nothing for medical. About $100 of that is getting reimbursed to me from Medicare. Had the doctors and xray techs I'd gone to bulk billed, they would be getting reimbursed, not me, which would be preferable. I've save upwards of $300 on my dental bills with my private hospital & extras cover, which I pay $60 a month for, but that only covers a maximum of $500 total on major dental, and even that is a 12 month wait period, so if I end up needing root canals etc that's all on me. Had this occured in the US, I would have paid $20 total, which was the co-payment for seeing my doctor. My health insurance cost me about $60 per month through work, and my dental $4 per month, again through work. Had I racked up $10,000 in services from the dentist, do you know how much I would have paid? $0, nada! That type of dental insurance doesn't exist in Australia. I had some chest pain and was coughing up blood the other day, so the doctor told me I could wait and see, or go for a chest xray. I chose the latter of course, which turned out fine, and it seems all is well with the chest, both on the xray and physical symptoms, although there is still a need to take it very easy for a week or so, with no strong physical exertion. A doctor in the US would have sent me for some extra tests I'm sure, and maybe even given me some antibiotics to prevent any chest infections. Anyway, this whole rant brings me to the conclusion that if you haven't experience universal healthcare/socialised medicine, don't say you want it just because it gives you a nice, warm and fuzzy feeling to think to everyone being entitled to healthcare. What it means is that yes, everyone gets some coverage, but it will be reduced coverage and less quality care. I agree that children should have coverage regardless, and insurance companies shouldn't be able to discriminate against people with pre-existing conditions, and that coverage should be reasonably priced for all, but it shouldn't be universal, unless you want mediocre care for all to replace good care for many.

Two Grandmas and 3 Teeth

2009-04-30T18:11:00.004+09:30

My grandma met her first husband singing in a jazz band. She loved music and singing, and when I was a little girl, she used to play her electric organ for me and sing. The most memorable song, which I remember listening to her sing from the living room while I was laying in bed getting ready to go to sleep, was 'All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth'. Both my grandmas were special ladies, and many of the women in my life have taught me how to be a strong woman myself. My other grandma once fell down the stairs of her house going down to the basement and had to lay there with a broken arm all night because there was no one to hear her call. I had my first big fall this week, right down the front steps, landing face first on the concrete driveway. I started bawling just like a little kid does after I tasted blood and ran my tongue along my broken teeth. It looks like I may be getting more than 2 front teeth, and well before Christmas, but it could have been much worse. I've had a lot of support from the ladies back home, and the new friends I've met here, so as much as it pains me to have to go through this, there is some positive out of it.

Australia v America

2009-04-22T11:22:00.002+09:30

Not a football match, but the differences in communication and culture, are to be discussed, yet again. Yesterday I went to Lush to pick up some shower gel which I've been coveting since Christmas but being thrify about. I couldn't get to the shelf that Sonic Death Monkey was on as there was a woman sniffing and obviously trying to decide which gel to buy. When she took a sniff of Flying Fox I said to her "That one is really nice." and her response was "It smells awful. I thought something in it had gone off." Truly Australian, the honesty there. Had the same conversation taken place in the US, which is unlikely to start with because we don't talk to each other if it's not out of necessity, she would say smiled and said "Yes, it is." then gone home and told her friends and family about the crazy lady who talked to her at the store. You see, us yanks are suspicious creatures, who are keen to show off, but don't always look for the true connection.

On that note, I got a copy of Yoga Journal in the care package from my mother that came yesterday. As I was reading it on the bus this morning, it struck me how 'American' the magazine felt, and how I really don't enjoy it the way I used to. Half of the magazine is adds for things that will allow you to practice yoga whilst looking better, and most of the articles which aren't about yoga positions revolve around things like finding oneself or how to be a better person.

What's wrong with us yanks that we don't know who we are without reading a magazine, and that we need to show a good front, but are wary of talking to and/or getting to know our neighbours?

Friends

2009-04-17T12:11:00.005+09:30

I'm referring to the actual physical beings, not the television show. Yesterday I had lunch with a small group of expat women, who came from places as far as the US, Canada, China, Colombia and Singapore. One of our main topics of conversation was that of friendship and the feeling of belonging/identity. Three of are married to Aussie blokes, and for us, this poses a particular challenge. Not that Aussie lads are inherently flawed, but more so that fitting into their circle of friends is a hard path to go down, at times. This could be said for anyone moving to their partner's country and trying to find their way into a life already begun. If I haven't mentioned before, when I got my spousal visa for Australia, a part of the application was a form titled the 'Australian Values Statement' that I had to sign, saying that I agreed to accept Australian values. While I thought the while thing was highly ethnocentrically biased, I did get a slight laugh over the value of 'mateship'. Since then, I've found that it's no laughing matter. I was warned about this by a fellow expat who'd previously lived in Oz, but paid it little attention at the time. My husband's mates go back many, many years. It's wonderful that he has had some of those friends for 15 years or so, and majority of them I have no objection to. In fact, I even like some of them;) What has not been so comfortable is that, in true incestuous Adelaide nature, some of those friends are also ex-girlfriends. One of those has been very nice to me and is well and truly over my man, so it's less of an issue these days. That being said, it was a little odd going to a bbq the other month. The scenario: myself, my husband, his best mate, his best mate's wife (who is best mate's with my husband's ex-fiance), hubs ex-fiance, and hub's ex-fiance's new boyfriend. That is a mouthful, hey? Now, as I said, I like the ex, she's been super nice and welcoming to me and actually gone out of her way in doing so, and she's my husband's clubbing partner, which means I know he's hanging out with quality people at least when he does go out amongst the less geriatric crowd;) That being said, there is something about spending your Saturday night with someone your husband has seen naked...a lot. There was a moment that evening when hubs and best mate were chatting away, ex and best mate's wife were chatting away, and ex's new boyfriend and I just looked at each other and had a good eye roll.

Part of my not feeling like I fit in here, or in with the hub's crowd more specifically, is my own insecurity, part of it is that I have little in common (could be perception) with the mates, that they have this bond that I'm going to have to be patient to wait to be any part of, and part of it could be that I'm not trying hard enough. I'm hopeful than when the porch is done, the dining room is cleaned up, and the heater is in, I can actually begin to entertain a bit more and rectify some of this. In the meantime, it's an other example of the patience and flexibility needed in the expat lifestyle.

In the Grand 'Ole English Tradition

2009-04-16T09:13:00.008+09:30

Australians, at least here in Adelaide, seem to relish in holding onto certain English traditions. Cuisine is a prime example, fish 'n chips being on every pub menu, servings of Christmas pudding and/or fruit cake placed on every holiday table, and ridiculously huge chocolate eggs everywhere you look at Easter. Taking a public holiday for Boxing Day and celebrating the cricket is standard, and of course keeping the Queen as the head of state....for now anyway.

The most English, and to my mind most offensive 'Briticism' is the tradition of being sick in the street. As I may have mentioned once or twice before, it doesn't take until the end of the night, but vomit starts to appear on the pavement around 10 or 11pm. Happy hour may have something to do with this, so too may alco-pops, which fuel binge drinking. The thing about binge drinking is that is causes no embarrassment to those who partake here. I'm not sure if this indicates a lack of values impressed upon Australians whilst growing up, or if it is truly a part of the national culture. I am not the only one who thinks this tradition needs to be curbed. The local politicians, headed by Julia Gillard, are pushing to have the tax on alco-pops increased. As alcohol here in Oz is expensive as is, many are crying out that this is an infringement on their right to get shit-faced at a reasonable price, and appealing for public empathy by decrying the measure as revenue raising. I for one am all for it, particularly if the extra funds are used to bring on more police persons and night-time street cleaners!

Hobart - A Tale of Two Heads, part 2

2009-04-15T19:55:00.009+09:30

The new plan is to do a write up on every city/location I visit as a tourist, in a vain attempt to progress as an amateur (travel) writer. I've been doing some writing on topics such as travel, the expat experience, and marriage over the past few months, all for free of course, and submitted to various web sites and blogs (links are on the left hand side if you haven't already seen). Hobart is next, so I think I'll just play around here to begin with.

As my third city to see in Australia, it was a toss up between Melbourne and Hobart. With four days off for the Easter holiday, adding a couple more on wasn't a problem to extend the 'respite' from the rigours of life in Adelaide a bit longer;) The budget airlines were competing for our business, and as Tiger managed a bit better of a deal to Tassie, we decided to save Melbourne for a time when we could afford a week or more, and do the trip properly by going the Great Ocean Road. So we booked our flights, sorted out a private room at Hobart Hostel, looked through the Lonely Planet and spoke to a few mates, then shelved any further plans until about a week before the trip. Feeling too cheap to pay for a rental car, we decided on doing it all by foot and public transport, which worked out surprisingly well.

Landing in Hobart at lunchtime on the Wednesday before Easter weekend, we dropped our bags at the hostel and headed out to have a look around the city and grab some lunch. After a wander through the Elizabeth Street Mall, we decided to go for the $7 foot-long special at Subway and listen to some street entertainment. Not your typical buskers were these few young lads playing classical music. A further wander around the waterfront brought us to the Lark Distillery, recommended by one of my workmates for a good nip. Although what they have on offer is expensive, even for Australia, you can get a good range of tasting samples for $7.50. The key is to do like us and share, as well as ask for more of what they have out than what they initially offer. If you don't behave like a twat, and the bartender is nice, which they all seem to be there, you can happily enjoy enough to get slightly warm. On offer is a range of scotch whiskey, gin, apple and cherry liqueurs, as well as some lovely pepperberry bush liqueur, made with an herb unique to Tassie.

On Thursday we attempted to make the best of our last day with public transport, so we headed off to the Cadbury Factory. About 4 hours and $40 removed, each, we came back into town with bags heavily laden with chocolates etc. Although the costs were extremely reasonable on the chocs, we both agreed that the $15 charge for the 'factory tour' was the biggest rip off we'd encountered in our history as tourists. For the fee, we were sat in front of a TV screen for 1/2 an hour and given the tiniest box of Favourites you ever did see. Apparently the factory has been closed to visitors for over a year, due to health and safety reasons. I strongly encourage you to take public transport to Cadbury ($4.40 all day bus pass in Hobart) and skip the 'tour' at Cadbury in favour of spending the extra cash on the important stuff. A more worthwhile tour is the $10 Hobart Penitentiary Ghost Tour, which we went on later that night.

Unfortunately we didn't make the best use of our all day bus pass, and forgot we wanted to go to Richmond, a pictueresque little town about a 1/2 an hour from Hobart. After a long walk through Battery Point and Salamanca Place on Friday, we called around and found out there was a means of transport, for $25 each, that would get us to Richmond. Although it killed us to shell out, it was well worth going. The oldest bridge in Australia was awaiting our viewing pleasure, and various other architectural beauties took us about 2 hours to see, after which we stopped at the Richmond Arms Hotel for a pint. The Royal Tasmanian Botanic Gardens was a must see on the way back into Hobart, where we quickly made a path across the lawn to see all we could in the 1/2 hour we had left until closing. That evening we headed off to Axum Ethiopian Restaurant, which also doubles as an internet cafe. We were the only diners there, and it wasn't the best Ethiopian we had, but after a day of hiking around, it was a welcome meal.

On Sunday, our last day in Hobart, and also Easter, we did an hour long hike up to the Cascade Brewery for a long lunch and beer tasting. We decided to forego the tour and instead spent about 3 hours trying a few brews, having a tasty meal and wandering the grounds. It was well worth the walk there, and afterwards we cut across, still on foot, to Wrest Point, where we treated ourselves to a couple of Long Islands and a sit outside the Casino, where we watched a fantastic sunset. A short walk further on was Sandy Bay, where we stopped for Chinese before heading back to the hostel.

As you can see there is plenty to do in Hobart, even on foot. We'll definitely be back to Tassie, and might even get a car next time;)

Two Heads Are Better Than One

2009-04-13T18:45:00.015+09:30

We saw this on a cap in one of the tourist shops in Hobart, which also had two little Tasmanian tiger heads on top. Australians are known for their strong tendency to take the piss on other states than the ones they live in, but it's interesting to see Tasmanians making fun of themselves. If you haven't figured it out, Tasmanians get teased about being inbred.

More to come, as we are just home tonight and I'm tired. A list of some places we visited over the 5 days we spent in Hobart are below. Further descriptions will follow.

Lark Distillery
Ocean Child, reasonably priced pub meals and interesting atmosphere
New Sydney Hotel, for good beer & lame ass music
Cadbury Factory, the biggest tourist scam on the planet
Barcelona European, for a fantastic big brekkie, served until 3pm
Salamanca Place & the Waterfront
Battery Point
Hobart Penitentiary Chapel Ghost Tour
Siam Garden Restaurant
The Bakehouse in Salamanca, for curried scallop pies (fantabulous, and open 24 hours!)
Richmond
The Stables and Richmond Arms Hotel
Royal Tasmanian Botanic Gardens
Axum Ethiopian Restaurant
Tasmanian Museum & Art Gallery
Cascade Brewery, where we caught the Easter bunny in action.
Wrest Point
Sandy Bay

Things I Said I'd Do Next Year

2009-04-06T19:21:00.004+09:30

Because I was too busy, I decided to skip a lot of things this past year, saying I'd do them next year. Well, now is the time to start doing those things, and in order to do so, I need to try and remember what they are and make a list.

OzAsia Festival (3-17 Oct 2009)
Russian Film Festival (Nov 2009)
Mexican Film Festival (Dec 2009)
Adelaide Film Festival (Feb 2009)
Man Alive (March 2010, I hope)
Womad (March 2010)
Fringe (Possibly more of it, although to be honest I thought the program was a bit lame) (Feb/March 2010)
Indofest & an Indian festival, name of I don't remember (both March/April 2009)
French Film Festival (April 2009)
Spanish Film Festival (May be able to make this one this year, as it is 14-17 May)
Adelaide Festival (reputed to be better than the Fringe and on every 2 years only, 26 Feb - 14 March 2010)

This Marriage Thing - Navigating Love Abroad

2009-04-04T15:20:00.005+10:30

Dina at This Marriage Thing asked me to be a guest blogger back in January. Thing is, there's some kind of script error over on her blog, and you can only see my entry if you have Mozilla Firefox, so I've decided to paste my article here as well.

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I’m delighted to have my friend, Susan, guest blog today. We’re kinda kindred spirits. She’s an ex-pat from the States. And, I feel like one from work now that I’ve retired, eh, transitioned, uh whatever. Enjoy!

When I saw that Dina was looking to broaden the focus of This Marriage Thing, I was hoping there might be some room to address the issue of what it’s like to begin or move a marriage overseas. Since meeting on a backpacker tour of Ireland, my husband and I have lived and loved in four different countries, before we were finally able to settle down in his home country of Australia. Along the way, we have faced challenges particular to a marriage on the move.

Starting on the Road

As I said, my husband and I met in Ireland. At the time we were both living in different parts of England, myself while studying and himself on a working holiday. For 8 months, we met up every 2 or 3 weeks on weekends, and for our last 4 months in the country, after my degree was complete, I moved into his London flat. This involved my husband staying in the UK longer than originally planned. In fact, he was away from home for a couple of years longer than he’d expected to be as a result of meeting me and I ended up permanently moving to a country I had intentionally left off my list of places to ever even visit. We found ourselves talking about marriage 4 months into the relationship, much sooner than we would have if we didn’t have to think about how to avoid living 10,000 miles apart. We went from the UK to a long visit to the US, then on to Australia where I got a working holiday visa for a few months, simply because he wanted me to suss it out before he felt ok with my decision to move there permanently. After that, we were off to New Zealand, where we got married and spent the better part of our time there waiting out a spousal visa. Almost 3 years later, we’ve now been back in Australia for about 9 months, where we are being patient with settling back into our home and marriage.

Making Allowances for Excess Baggage

I’ve found over the years that being an expat partner/spouse adds a lot more complexity to a relationship, making essential relationship values such as flexibility and patience even more important. Both partners need to be committed to being open-minded about the challenges they will face when one or both are moving to a new country. New expats need to be a bit more open to trying new things, and those partners who are already in their home country need to accept that flexibility is essential and some things they take for granted may not be (at least immediately) acceptable to their immigrant spouse/partner. Stubbornness and resistance to change can cause roadblocks and unhappiness in any relationship, but can be the downfall of an expat relationship.

Growing Up and Making Space

I’ve matured so much since I met my husband; some of the growing pains including crying myself to sleep when I felt my husband wasn’t being understanding enough. An important thing I’ve learned is that you can’t expect your spouse to fully understand what you are going through if you’ve moved to his/her country. They can sympathise, even empathise, but they will never know exactly how you feel, just as you yourself could not have imagined what it would really be like before you stepped off the plane. One person can never be everything to you, but as an expat, you have to make a special effort not to only unburden yourself on your significant other.

The story of the filing cabinet is a perfect example of how two people can view something in two completely different ways due to two entirely different mindsets. This comes up in any marriage, and as we all know, it’s not always about who is right or wrong, but how to deal with the situation in a way that works for both people and doesn’t hurt anyone. As it goes, I didn’t have a car here for the first 7 months or so, and had to rely on public transport or my husband to go anywhere. One weekend, I asked my husband to drive me to the local shop as they had a great deal on a filing cabinet. He was tired, and said no, so I ranted and raved and cried about how I felt like I was trapped, to no avail. I felt terrible and not understood at all, and my husband had a few choice words for how he thought I was acting. Neither of us truly understood the other. My husband eventually did do some running around looking for me, but couldn’t find that one. I still need the filing cabinet, but I haven’t seen as good a sale since then and I’ve been in between jobs until recently. The moral of the story: buy a car, even if it is cosmetically challenged and 15 years old. And remember, just because two people come from English speaking countries doesn’t mean cultural differences in communication methods don’t exist, but that’s an entirely new story.

Changing your Itinerary

As I tell people, being an expat is a wonderful opportunity to re-create yourself. You not only should but also need to develop new interests in your new home. Talents you’ve always had but perhaps never put into action become more apparent, and important. You’ll need to create something of your own in order to gain independence as well as keep yourself busy and meeting new people. Being an expat is an excellent confidence builder if you treat it as an opportunity. My husband was afraid when we met that we didn’t share enough interests, but as his father said, it’s been a blessing that we don’t, particularly in this situation. His friends are lovely, but I’m enjoying making my own. I’ve been forced to cast away my shyness. I’ve even formed an expat social group that has grown to 150 members in under a year. We meet up once a month for drinks and conversation, and I’ve met most of my new friends this way. You may ask how an admittedly shy person got the courage to begin and host a new social group. The answer is out of necessity. As an expat, you have to get used to meeting and socialising with strangers, unless you are ok with being very lonely. I can almost say I hated Adelaide the first time I was here, and while living in New Zealand, I knew I had to do something to change that, or I’d be leading a very unhappy life. This is home for my husband, and I could see very early on that he wouldn’t be happy anywhere else. I knew I could find things to make Adelaide work for me, so I did.

Arriving at Your Destination

One essential component of any relationship, and a key to successfully negotiating a change or new situation, is patience, and you must constantly remember that it takes time to settle and grow into anything. Marriage is a growing process, and the destination is not as important as the path. My husband and I still have a lot to learn, but we’ve certainly become more flexible, understanding partners because of the extra hurdles we’ve had to go through. We appreciate the very existence of our relationship that much more, I would say, now that we’ve had to work so hard to maintain it’s very existence in the same location. If you can handle a relationship abroad with grace and success, you can handle anything!

One Year In

2009-04-03T12:20:00.002+10:30

Today is my 1st anniversary of entering Australia on my spousal visa. I've spent this year job hunting, fixing up a house, meeting new people and attempting to form some new friendships, getting acclimated to my new husband, his friends and family, and developing some new hobbies for myself. It's been full on, and stressful at times, but also good for the soul, as my Aunt Liz would say. I'm still getting used to being a wife (but loving it), looking for the right permanent job, observing the (work in progress) house looking hugely better than it did 12 months ago, inside and out, and I'm doing a lot of things I always wanted to do but never made the time for. People keep telling me I seem to have settled in very well, etc and in some sense I have, but without wishing the next year away, I'm looking forward to being even more settled in this time next year. Let no one fool you with outside appearances; it is loads of work, but it's worthwhile at the end of the day...most days;)

You Know You're in Australia When...

2009-04-01T10:26:00.005+10:30

Outlook's spell checker tries to change chocs to chooks:/
People respond to your questions by calling you stupid, for example at the post office when you ask for the post code for Brisbane and they say "Stoooopid...it's 4000, duh" (Nah they didn't say it quite like that but the tone was the same.)

The Woman of the House

2009-03-24T14:55:00.006+10:30

I like what my mom used to say when contractors told her to talk to her husband and get back to them..."This is my house." Well, my house isn't my house yet, and even when it is, it won't be my house but our house. While my husband watched Clipsal all weekend (well most of...he did dig some holes in the yard and help me out on commercials, so I can't say he wasn't productive), I did the following, all on Sunday no less!

Went to the hardware store and bought string, fly screen and spline, that stuff you put around the door frame to keep out draft, mirror brackets, and an electic hedgetrimmer
Hooked up my new toy and trimmed some bushes. I love love love the hedgetrimmer and wish I had bought one months ago
With hubs help, cleaned and re-screened 3 windows
Scraped the old stuff from the door frame, cleaned it up, and put the new stuff on. (Man I wish I knew what that stuff was called!)
Decided the mirror is too thin for the brackets, so they'll go back next week when I go back to get more fly screen

Home ownership is not for wussies.

Adelaide's Finer Moments

2009-03-23T16:30:00.002+10:30

As thousands of people ventured out from Australian trailer parks this weekend to watch Clipsal, I was reminded of this video. Oh go on, you know you want to.

Entitlement

2009-03-20T15:16:00.003+10:30

One of the things that gets under my skin about Americans is their sense of entitlement. I was going to say people, but it does seem to me that Americans are worse than the average (at least the average Australian). It's never bothered me to pay taxes, and I've never felt as though I pay too much, in any country I live in. Now that I've had experience working in the public sector, I wonder how the measly amount we actually pay in taxes manages to foot the bill. Well, it doesn't really, in many cases, does it. I'm glad our president agrees with me that the sense of entitlement many people (ahem, AIG execs for instance) is an issue. This seems to be a recurrent theme this week in the life of Suzer, and there are a few people I've come across who I'd have loved to tell to get over themselves, but I've restrained myself. Anyway, here's to the weekend.

Why Going Home is Important

2009-03-04T11:31:00.003+10:30

I often hear people talk about not having been home in years, sometimes upwards of five, which seems amazing to me. I do know quite often it is for financial reasons or justnot being able to find the time that finds people from going home, but 2 years seemed long to me, and I am going to try to not ever let it be that long again in between visits. Aside from the obvious of seeing family and friends (and pets!), going home can be a refreshing break and a much needed change of pace. I forgot what it was like to be single, and kept finding myself behaving in ways here that the old suzer wouldn't have approved of. I had turned into a nagging, dependent wife who did far too much housework and worried all the time about house repairs and money. For two weeks, I left that me behind, and at the end of the visit, I was not going back to her. No more will I be calling my husband to find out what time he will be getting home from work, panicking about him spending all of Saturday on the internet, or getting headaches from clenching my jaws over all the house repairs that need doing. I'm over it.

Forgoing Duty Free Alcohol...

2009-03-01T08:20:00.004+10:30

for the premium lounge. Well, it was either $45 for alcohol or $30 for five hours in a lounge with internet access, free food, showers, and a place to nap in front of the beautiful mountains in Vancouver, so I chose the latter. It sucks leaving home after a visit. I'm all gross from crying.

Food Glorious Food

2009-02-21T10:36:00.004+10:30

More Cowbell

2009-02-20T16:27:00.001+10:30

Um, actually I meant to say...more snow, whoo-hoo! We may get 6 inches or more tomorrow night. As the stupid blonde chick said in the airport, BOO YEAH!

The Gold

2009-02-20T07:54:00.004+10:30

So I think I've babbled on about the old girl scout song before ( I bloody hated the girl scouts by the way ), but these are some of the golds. It's great to catch up with old friends:)

Spoilt for Choice

2009-02-19T04:25:00.002+10:30

I'm seriously taking advantage of the deals here. Would you believe the above bottle of beer was only $1.50! I don't think I'll ever clothes shop in Australia again. As long as I come home every couple of years or less, I'll just stock up here. I've gotten 4 pairs of work trousers, 5 tops, 3 pairs of shoes, 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of King sized pillowcases and a set of pillow protectors, various toiletry type items from Walmart, some candy for the family, and probably some other things I can't remember at the moment, all for under $400! And, it's going to snow again tonight. It couldn't get better;)

I Don't Belong Here Anymore

2009-02-17T17:00:00.003+10:30

Of all the travelling and living abroad I've done over the past few years, this is my first time home that I feel like I've changed to the point where I really don't fit in here anymore. Aside from turning the windshield wipers on when I intend to signal a turn, I can tell I've changed, a lot. There is an anonymity with people here, a distance, that I used to appreciate. Now it just makes me feel like people don't care about each other. People here seem to have a little bubble around them, aside from the immigrants, who I feel more of a connection with, even at the fast food places and shopping centers. Genuine friendliness is few and far between. I'm a walking novelty, as everyone wants to talk to me about the bushfires and anything else Australian (or Kiwi, as it's close enough right). I don't think I could ever live here again, yet at the same time, I'm still learning to live in Oz and don't fully fit in there yet. Oh well, at least I had some proper nachos today;)

Snow and Shopping

2009-02-16T16:23:00.003+10:30

Ok so my friends think I'm nuts for being excited enough to jump up and down over the snow, but it is gorgeous and I hope it snows lots more (I may be sorry I said that later). I'm off to the mall in a few to take part in shopping session #2, wondering if my confusion will be any less this time.

Reverse Culture Shock

2009-02-15T03:30:00.002+10:30

Welcome to the world of American sized portions (that is the giant cookie above). And everything is severely cheap too. It's like I died and went to Christmas heaven;) I'm too tired to write a proper post. Been sleeping at night but not enough because my clock is off. More later...

In Praise of Hot Weather

2009-02-02T12:12:00.005+10:30

Well, I am now thinking that this whole thing has been interesting, almost to the point of enjoyment, so getting a/c could be a couple of years off, rather than next year. Our weekends lately have generally focused on either the house or Steve's cars (meaning himself working on the cars or spending all day on the sofa 'researching' car stuff). This weekend we really had no choice but to get out of the house. We spent about 6 hours at the mall Saturday. I don't think my friends and I even spent that much time at the mall when I was 13. Sunday afternoon we went to the local pool for about 3 hours. Steve's lived in the neighborhood for 12+ years and this was his first time. There are 3 pools and a waterslide (the latter costs extra so we didn't do it this time around). Two of the pools are actually covered over with pergola-type coverings and there is plenty of lawn space to chill out, much of it in shade. They even have bbqs! And this is no American-style pool...there is splashing, jumping in, and kiddies have all kinds of floaty toys. It was pretty cool.

Etsa Hot Day

2009-01-30T14:57:00.005+10:30

Yes well it looks as though we're going to have extreme temperatures here for the next week. Hubs and I plan to take some time out tomorrow to go hang out at the shopping centre. My biggest concerns are power outages and fires at the moment (side note: if you are not from or living in Australia you may not understand the blog title, but...wait for it...), so while ETSA is shutting off power for short periods of time on purpose, we have our fingers crossed we don't lose power overnight as some people have over the past few days. I'm especially concerned about the two weeks worth of leftovers I have carefully packaged up for hubs for the time I am away in the US...curries, chicken dishes, lamb and beef stews will go off if we have more than a couple of hours without power, in this heat. And of course, the fish would most certainly kick the bucket. We did have a burst water main down the street yesterday, but no big uncontrollable fires as of yet. On the one hand, some wind is good at night to get a bit of slightly cooler air in, but if there's a fire, it's a huge hazard. Send my leftovers and fishies your positive vibes please!

My Eyeballs are Sweating, and Other Adelaide Heat Wave Factoids

2009-01-28T21:44:00.005+10:30

It is 45.5C today, which is about 115F. The inside of my house was 98F when I got home from work

Today was the hottest day in Adelaide in 108 years.

The trains weren't running this afternoon. It is so hot the tracks are buckling.

The buses (most of them anyway) have no a/c, so on the way home from work today it really felt as though my eyeballs were sweating, with hot air blowing in my face from the windows and vents.

Our fish are in distress. I don't like the fish tank, but I am fond of 'little yellow fish', so I hope he makes it. Have put one of the evaporative fans in the dining room, as it's much hotter in there.

Thank god we got new light blocking curtains for our main rooms; I don't know how Steve has made it here for 12 years without.

Dibs

2009-01-23T13:07:00.003+10:30

If you're from Chicago, you are familiar with the practice of dibs in regards to winter parking. It's a long-standing tradition, and simply common courtesy. After spending up to an hour digging your car out of it's space, that space if yours. According to this article, the city is cracking down. Well I say shame on the city! I've never in all my years living in Chicago come across anyone who had a problem with 'dibs'. Alderman Richard Mell should be removed from office for suggesting that an alternative to dibs should be....'a shovelling party'. A shoveling party! Does Mr. Mell live in Chicago? Has he got a brain? Have a look at the link; he even looks like a moron. Streets & Sanitation spokesman Matt Smith agrees, saying 'The best way around all of this is to be good neighbors'. What a load of crap!

Australian Directness, or Rudeness?

2009-01-18T19:53:00.003+10:30

More than 3 years with my husband and 2 years Down Under and I still don't understand the sense of humour. I don't remember it being quite the same in NZ, but I still wind up thinking people are being rude to me when they are joking here. I still feel offended, and I don't really get how it can be a joke, but I just have to go with it sometimes. Two examples from today:

Getting ice cream at Brighton Beach today, I asked for rum raisin. I saw him going to scoop some that was in front of the berry flavour, so I said "Um, I wanted rum raisin." so he continued to scoop and said "This is rum raisin." and when he gave me the ice cream said in a completely dry tone..."See the raisins."
Rang up a furniture store that we wanted to stop by on the way home, to make sure they were open on Sundays and until what time. The response: "We're open until 5...just like everyone else."