Monday, 25 May 2009

Friendly Doesn't Mean Friends

If there is one thing in Australia that I'll never accept, it is that of people dropping by unexpectedly, or even calling to say they are in the area and wanting to drop in. My plan is to erect a fence at the front of the property as well, with an electric door for the driveway, which will be shut most of the time. I'm not an unfriendly person, but unless I invite you over, in advance, I probably don't want you here. At times, it feels as though I am living in Bizarro World. For example, when the ex rings up Saturday late afternoon and wants to stop by because she is in the area, I want to say: "Huh, what...well, of course not, it's Saturday night and I am spending it with my husband, alone, which I was looking forward to...duh." Instead I must be nice and say "Sorry but it's not a good time. We're very busy and have plans early tomorrow." I want to be friendly, but I don't want to be friends...but I want to be nice and manage boundaries without upsetting anyone. But at least there is pavlova. Yes, I know, this is a strange segway, but I have to acknowledge sometimes that I am living an utterly and completely different life. As the quote on the bottom of the page says, "Life in a foreign country is a dance of submission and resistance. ...you find yourself giving in easily, with a struggle, or not at all." Pavlova, particularly topped with bananas so as to taste similar yet even better than banana cream pie, I can give into easily. People stopping by unexpectedly I would have to give into with a struggle, but would prefer to give in...not at all.

4 comments:

A Free Man said...

Try having Irish in laws. Christ, you can't keep them away.

Enjoyed y'alls company the other day!

Lauren said...

Hey, I think I can actually top this. Last year, when my partner was out of town, his friend who is famous for this brand of "dropping in" (or calling saying 'i'm outside, can I come in? I was in the area...') went to our neighbor asking if he could borrow a power tool. The neighbor said "Sure, but I won't be here tomorrow, so I'll leave it next door and you can pick it up from Lauren". OK...well the neighbor never TOLD me that (becuase if he had, I would have said, no...this is your problem, not mine...). So the next day, when I get out of the pool after an hour's swim, I had all these messages on my phone from the guy wanting the tool going 'um, hello, i'm here, where are you?'. The messages got progressively ruder, so I called back to say "what the hell are you talking about?" and he filled me in, and was STILL pissed that I wasn't there! So, not only did both of them just "assume" they could drop in, I guess they also just "assumed" I'd be there, ready with a smile on my face to accomodate THEIR schedules!! Because, why on earth would I have a life or plans that conflicted with when they'd be "around"???

Arizaphale said...

Lauren: classic.

Suzer: I don't know, you don't like cats, you don't like ex-es....at least you like pavolova ;-D

Suzer said...

I love cats (it's dogs I have no use for). I have a kitty back home, and I eventually want one here. I just don't want the neighborhood cats around, particularly if they are having their wees on my front door. Are you saying I should like exes;)?